Return to Childhood

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question I’ve heard many, many times as a kid. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been always planning for the future… Always thinking about moving to the next stage of life…from school to work and so on…

The search for a profession was mainly driven by practicality and society, not by dreams or what I would like to be, but more about, what type of job would be practical, what would help me earn enough money, give me recognition? Of course it’s essential that we’re practical after all, where would our dreams be if we were hungry or lacking basic necessities for life? At the same time it’s sad when we sacrifice all our dreams for practicality or simply to confirm with society, as work is where we spend more than half of our lives, so why do many people work in areas which they despise just for that money or security or ‘because that is what is expected of me’? Tell any child that you don’t like your job, and the child would give the most logical answer, “then change it!”.

From the time I could understand everyone around me have been saying you should be a doctor, or engineer like your father, or lawyer… there are a few professions that are respected and all children are expected to be one of them, whether the child is talented in this area or something completely different such as writing or painting. Many fields are ignored, including the Not-for-profit sector. Until I did my project at the Global Fund as part of my MBA, social services were simply something I like to do in my free time, not my career. After spending years in fields which I did not enjoy and where I didn’t feel that I was making the most of my potential, I think I’ve finally found an area that I like working in… Will I be in this field forever? I don’t really know, but I do know that I enjoy working in Not-for-profits and working for something greater than myself…

It’s funny now that I have ‘grown up’, I’m trying to explore my creativity and set my imagination free (much more difficult now, after stifling it for almost 30 years). I came across an intersting talk at TED conference which talks about how all children are born with creativity which is killed in a school system geared towards maths, sciences, languages and not geared for kids whose talents lie in arts, and thought of adding it here though its slightly out of topic http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html. I do feel that any creativity I might have had as a child disappeared in my adult years, and now I'm trying to learn it all over again.

Lately I've also learnt to appreciate nature, the mountains, the stars, and all the beauty around with wonder (everything I’ve ignored for so long, too caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle of life); to live in the present moment, having total trust in the higher power; to be more honest and genuine; to say what I mean, and mean what I say… just like a child... When I ‘grow up’ I want to return to my childhood…

I'll end this post with a lovely quote from CS Lewis "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." 

The return of the Absent Minded Professor

I'm still laughing at myself, I can’t believe how forgetful i can be... Just as I was starting to congratulate myself for leaving my absent minded days behind me, the 'absent minded professor' struck again!...

Last Saturday was just another normal day, and as usual I took the garbage out after cooking lunch, and just as I went out and shut the door behind me, I realized that I forgotten my key! My apartment door locks as soon as the door is closed, so no key, no way of getting in, and I just stepped out, in what I was wearing at home, a pair of short shorts, sleeveless t-shirt and flip flops in which i had been cooking and cleaning the whole day (what a relief that it was not a cold day)! Now what? I have no phone, no money, nothing! It was just like in those funny comedies, where u lock yourself out in your pajamas but it wasn't a comedy, it was my life!

Anyway I had my extra key in office (just for times like these), but the problem was that I didn’t have the badge to get into office, and being a holiday there would be no one at reception, but as there was nothing else I could do (I already tried the concierge who was also out), I decided to go to my office and try my luck. At the entrance there were two guards. The first guard saw me from inside and looked suspicious, would have wondered what possibly this lady in shorts could be wanting! When he came out, I tried to explain in my broken French, about how I was locked out from my flat and that my extra key was in my desk. He didn't even smile, just said that we can't let you in if you have no badge! So I tried to explain, that the reason I had no badge was because everything was in my flat and that I could not get inside, then the other younger security appeared, he spoke English and looked sympathetic to my situation after I gave him my totally innocent lost look (well didn’t really have to act, I was!) and explained everything. I could see he wanted to help but the senior guard still said 'no'...

So just as i thought maybe I’ll have to barge into a friends place, stay overnight and go to work the next day and get the key, someone appeared from inside the office and I told him my problem and asked him if he would help me, but he was not from my office either but was visiting someone, so didn’t have a badge, but called his friend inside, who came down and showed his badge to security and let me in!

What a day! I finally got my extra key and was smiling all the way home, it just felt like I was in one of those funny TV programmes! Only thing missing was a ticket checker in the tram, as though I did have a season ticket for the month, it was also of course at home (thankfully none appeared)!

So at the end of the day I learnt, to always have a plan 'B' (I promptly replaced my key at office, would have been a much bigger disaster if I didn't have that extra key!), always check for the key when closing the door, and of course I learnt to laugh at myself, it always helps :)... Till next time I get absent minded and forget something again...

Are we humans really 'humane'?

Recently I watched the 'Reader' that got me thinking, it was so unbelievable how a seemingly 'nice' lady could have sent so many jews to their death, even if she wasn;t teh leader, just the fact that she admitted that they didn;t unlock the burning church with 200 jews, simply cos they didn;t want to free the prisoners. It was as if the orders she had received had taken over her conscience... and how many more were out there? not just the Nazis but also the discriminations against blacks, the genocides and all the other wars that rise out of either trying to lay claim to some piece of earth, or over the colour of the skin... why can;t we all live together, why do we all want to be superior, to have more than the others? What is in us that makes us want more than the other?

What could have caused, normal human beings to be so heartless? This also reminded me of the famous Milgram experiment where an experiment was conducted, with participants told that they are taking part in a memory experiment and that they are the 'teacher' and they must work with a 'student' in another room, whom they can hear but not see. The participants are told that they have to ask questions from the 'student' and for each wrong answer give an electric shock to the 'student' (this student is an actor and doesn;t really get the shock, but the participant believes that he does). In conclusion, most participants had continued to gve electric shocks higher and higher, even when they heard screams from the 'student' just because they were told to. More details can be found here here

That really freaked me out, would it be possible that I could do a similar thing, where I would harm another, simply cos I was told to by an 'authority'? I really hope not! that;s just a very scary thought, that so many normal people had just done what the 'authority' asked without ever questioning whether they should, without really listening to their concience...

Humans are such a complex group... sometimes i think that the wild animals are less 'wild' and more 'humane' than the humans themselves, after all even the vicious animals like lions and tigers kill for food, not because they didnl;t like the stripes of the zebra or any such silly reason like that! So i'll finish the post with one of my fav songs the Animal Song Animal Song

"Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide
I wanna live like Animals careless and free..."

Arts or Sciences?

Being someone, who’s an engineer background, but realizing that I like the arts more and more, from singing, to acting to writing (not sure if I’m much good at these things, but I love them all the same :) ) I have sometimes wondered about it… specially about whether it was a right choice to give up engineering (I do use the analytical skills we learnt in engineering, but nothing technical), or whether I should have studies the Classics or Theatre… Sometimes, I feel a bit of a misfit not in either side…

But then I think, they are both essential for human existence.

Music, paintings, writing, acting are all very subjective disciplines, they sometimes give you a glimpse into the soul of the author…and can be perceived as either good or bad. I guess what brings joy to the creator of arts is knowing that what they have created can bring joy, or enlightenment or be thought provoking or ofcourse they could also influence violence, specially art forms such as Cinema…at the same time, they could easily go unnoticed…I think the biggest fear of any kind of creator of the art forms…
Sciences, can be more predictable the laws of physics are laws, but again the discoveries are nothing, if they cannot be utilized to improve human existence (or sometimes to destroy). Looking at all inventions and discoveries, where would we be without them? From computers, to television, to internet, to electricity. I guess it’s a mix of creativity and knowledge of the sciences.

In the older times, inventors were also artists or musicians, like Da Vinci, whose one of the most famous artists of all time, and at the same time, was an inventor and mathematician...so why don’t we have people like that anymore, most people are very much more focused into one area... is it the school systems that kill creativity? I was thinking of the same thing when reading the ‘little Price’ where he talks about how he liked to draw but since the ‘adults did not understand his unusual drawings, he just stopped completely, often when kids try new things, or different things, like colouring a tree red, you’d always have someone saying, but that is not in real life… so what? Look at most people who do become famous, they are those who go against the grain, for what they believe in. Ofcourse when I say go against the grain, you also have to think of morality, and that you are not harming yourself or others by doing so…

I will end this post with a lovely quote by Buckminster Fuller

"All children are born geniuses;9,999 out of every 10,000 are swiftly,inadvertently, degeniusized by grownups.”