Random Thoughts

Random acts of kindness...

2012-01-18T13:40:00.000+01:00

I came across this amazing video on Facebook. It's done by a group called Life Vest Inside. Simply put, they are promoting random acts of kindness. I was really moved watching the video and so decided to post it here. It has a similar theme as the movie 'Pay it forward' where each person who is at the receiving end of a random act of kindness, continues to help someone else... What a beautiful world if would be, if we could all live this way.

Six degrees of separation...

2012-01-11T12:43:00.001+01:00

The first time I heard about the concept of ‘The six degrees of separation’ was soon after I joined Facebook. A friend had sent the ‘Six Degrees’ Facebook application which calculates the distance between people on the network. As I disliked having lots of applications on my profile, I did not accept it, but read up on ‘Six degrees of Separation’. It states that everyone in the world on an average are separated from everyone else through six other people. Being the ‘die hard’ Bon Jovi fan that I am, I remember thinking, hmmm… I wonder if I can connect to him in six levels…

Just yesterday as I was chatting to a colleague I found out that yes I could! Turned out that the son of another colleague knows Bon Jovi’s eldest daughter Stephanie as they attend the same school!!! So that means I’m connected to Bon Jovi in 4 levels!

When she mentioned it, I just thought, wow the world really is growing smaller! With many of us having travelled on studies or work or at least knowing others who have travelled all over the world it’s turning into one big global village day by day.

With the advent of social networking tools such as Facebook, twitter and linkedIn and Skype it’s easier than ever to keep in touch across the miles too… the physical distance between people is getting less and less relevant, after returning back to Sri Lanka and moving to our own house (more on my new home and work on a later post) we still have not been to see our neighbors due to busy schedules, but have managed to at least send a message or email to most of my friends in Switzerland and Cambridge. I know more about my friends on FB living it different countries than about my aunties or uncles in SL who are not on FB!

I have over 600 friends on FB and on linkedIn 250 direct connections with over 3 million connections 3 degrees away. At this rate it does sound like I can connect to anyone in the world (at least the part of the world that is online) if I were to look at 6 degrees away! Of course this wouldn’t work with the many people living in isolated or rural areas, who haven’t had the opportunity or the interest in travelling outside their towns, and who may not know many people. But for many others, even if they have not travelled, they would know someone who has, and can be connected to that person’s network.

What I've also come to realise is that even these social networks, friendships across the miles all run on the basic principles of any relationship, you need to give before you can expect to receive. You have to be a connector yourself, when others need help, and then often help comes your way when you need it. Whether in person or across the miles, lasting relationships are all about keeping in touch and being interested in the other person, its not only about you... For me this network has been invaluable in my last few vagabond years, from putting me in touch with people in cities I’ve visited, to giving job advice or forwarding CVs when I was searching for a job. When I first went to Geneva I stayed with a couple introduced through my father's friends friend. Another cool fact is considering how we can connect to almost anyone if we go through a few degrees is that someone in your network is bound to know something about anything you can think of!

Is there a doggy heaven?

2011-12-18T14:56:00.001+01:00

This morning I was pondering about doggy heavens while playing with our dog Lassie. She seems almost human, the way she looks at us, how she gets excited when we come home, how she looks sad when we leave, she is the epitome of loyalty and unconditional love...

There are so many other loyal dogs too, that have saved their owners life, either by dialing 911 like in this story or simply by being a companion and showing unconditional love to someone who doesn't have anyone else. It also reminds me of the story of Hachiko the Japanese dog who went to the train station to meet his master for nine years even after his death. Its hard to imagine that such patience and love can go unrewarded.

But then this opens up the whole debate about do animals have souls? As a devout Catholic, we generally believe that only humans have souls, but then what about the animals? Not only dogs, but many animals live lives which we can emulate. Even Jesus used birds as the example of trusting in God. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them" Matthew 6:26

Then there's the famous leadership lessons by Geese which was observed 1972 by Dr. Robert McNeish. He noticed how they fly in a formation to support each other, how they change leaders, encourage each other by honking and support the birds in difficulty. There can be so many lessons that can be learnt from animals, unconditional love, no jealousy, to be satisfied with little and patience to name a few. They don't try to out do each other, they don't say to the owner, the next door dog has a better ball, I want one too. They are satisfied with what they have. They seem to be predisposed with the ability to do right rather than us humans, who struggle day in and day out with decisions of how to be better people.

I don't know what happens to any of us after we die, or whether heaven is a place or a state of mind. What ever it is, I do believe that God also has a 'good place' reserved for dogs and cats and all the other lovely creatures created by him... And I hope to see dear Rocky sometime, our faithful German Shepard who left us, earlier this year.

Seeing the glass half full...

2011-11-30T12:35:00.004+01:00

Since the day I arrived in Sri Lanka the most common question I have had to answer is ‘Is it difficult adjusting back to Sri Lanka after staying for four years in Switzerland?’ or ‘You must be missing Switzerland a lot'. My reply is always, it's your attitude towards the location rather than the specific place. Of course if you are in a place where you don't have the basic necessities like food, or water, then its a different fact all together, but as long as you have the basic necessities and try to make the most of life, it does not matter where you're located.

Everywhere you go there will be wonderful things and problems it’s upto us to focus on the good and ignore, or try to change the negatives whenever it is in our power. It was the same even when I left Cambridge, though I thought I would miss it, after I came back to Sri Lanka I loved being back home. Again it was the same when I went to Switzerland; I really enjoyed the experience as you would already have seen from my earlier posts even though many people called it a boring sleepy town. I loved the mountains in the distance, the amazingly efficient transport system, and meeting all those wonderful people from all over the world, not forgetting the chocolates of course. Now the same people ask me how can I leave such a wonderful developed country and come back home? Its the usual 'grass is greener on the other side' syndrome...

I tell them, that in Sri Lanka I love spending time with friends and family, I like the fact that I don't have to wear layers every time I want to go out, understanding what people say and being able to get things done and seeing the beautiful beaches everyday, and I like to think that I can be part of the development of this lovely Island that has been ravaged by war for over 30 years! Sure I can think of thousands of annoyances here too, but not dwelling too much on them is the secret to stay happy.

I think its similar with people too, no one is perfect, but then no one is all bad either, most of the time there's good and bad in all people, so in order to enrich your relationships it is important to focus on the good, and if it would help, try to give feedback in a constructive manner, to help the person improve.

This post also ties back to my earlier post on Stopping the spread of negativity. It's important to realise that there are problems, and try to improve them if possible, and if not ignore them and focus on the positive sideof life. So I'll end this post with my favourite 'Serenity Prayer'.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Were the good old days really that much better?

2011-11-25T12:47:00.001+01:00

I often hear older aunts and uncles say how ‘In the good old days morals were much better, or the world was less materialistic…etc.’

While we see terrorism and murders and rape in the newspapers every day, there are also lot of young people getting involved in social services and trying to make the world a better place. Unfortunately the virtuous acts of people are not as news worthy as the ‘horror stories’ and so we continue to only hear about how the world is getting worse each day.

So in this blog post I thought of highlighting some amazing young people who have come up with creative ways of helping each other. Most of these are students or normal people like you and me. While there is also a trend of famous millionaires and celebrities such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Matt Damon, Bon Jovi establishing their own Not-for-profit (NFP) organisations, I will not go into those which get enough publicity but just mention a few examples of youngsters trying to improve the world even if it is in their own small way.

Just yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the final presentations of undergrad students for their subject on team work. The assignment was to work in teams and achieve something larger than themselves. I was very touched by the dedication and creativity of these students. One group worked with the residents at Sahanaya (National Council for Mental Health) where they conducted art therapy classes with the residents who were given materials to make Christmas cards and then these cards were sold to raise funds for the organisation. Another group worked with a very poor school to buy them books, another worked on empowering young girls by teaching life skills, and yet another decided to help the cleaning ladies of their own university. At the end of the session most of the students said that at the beginning they worked on these projects in order to get the marks, but at the end they were so moved by the project that they wanted to continue the work they started even after the end of the project.

Another young group of students trying to make a difference from the University of Colombo have come up with their own organisation, Empower Lanka. Their mission is to provide free electricity for rural villages to help them break out of the poverty cycle and to reduce Sri Lanka's carbon emissions. This organisation was supported by ‘GlobalChange Makers’ a vibrant community of young activists, volunteers and social entrepreneurs. The Global Change Makers community activists and social entrepreneurs aged 16-25 who are actively bringing about positive change with the support of the British Council.

Even in MBAs subjects on philanthropy and social entrepreneurship have become more popular. When I was in Cambridge (2006/07), we had an elective on social entrepreneurship but it was cancelled due to lack of students, but now subjects on these areas seem to be much more popular in most MBA schools. Here is an article from Business Weekly on the subject http://www.businessweek.com/business-schools/philanthropy-gains-eager-followers-in-bschools-08172011.html.

Cambridge University has started a new venture called Beyond Profit in their own words the mission of Beyond Profit is to inspire and support students to make the world a better place through their career or through entrepreneurship.

Another example of young students using technology and web 2.0 in tackling the world’s major issues is End Ignorance. It is a collaborative non-profit online platform that addresses today’s most pressing issues ranging from extreme poverty to genocide by informing individuals and providing easy access to opportunities to get involved. The content is written collaboratively by volunteers around the world and it has a similar concept as Wikipedia.

Maybe the youth of today want to do something larger than themselves, or maybe after the Financial crisis they realised the temporary nature of material things and thought of doing something more… or looking for their purpose in life, in a world where religion and spirituality seems to be disappearing… With the advent of the internet and web 2.0 privileged youngsters also have the opportunity to learn more about what is happening outside their ‘happy homes’. Whatever the reason there is hope for the future… So I don’t think the ‘good old days were better than today’.

Time to say Good Bye…

2011-10-28T15:00:00.001+02:00

These last few days have been quite difficult, as I’m getting ready to leave Geneva, my home for almost 4 years. While the physical aspect of leaving the apartment, dealing with administrations, ending contracts with phone, electricity, etc. getting rid of all the furniture was challenging, especially as they needed to be done in my broken French, the hardest part is saying ‘Good Bye’.

Good bye to all the wonderful people I’ve met... Good bye to Global Fund and my colleagues who’ve become friends for life… Good bye to the Young Catholic group that started out as a weekly bible reading group but now we’re one big colourful family… Good bye to all the other friends I’ve made along the way, especially while travelling and at all sorts of expat get-togethers.

I think it first started to sink in, as I gave away all the furniture in our apartment to Caritas, and sat on the cold empty floor with my laptop. Then yesterday I said Good Bye to our little apartment and handed over the keys and now am staying with some friends… I have also been having farewell lunches or dinners almost every other day as I really want to meet everyone before leaving. I was especially touched by our team farewell yesterday, but I also felt a little melancholy as I will not be seeing them for a long time.

I still remember arriving here in Geneva in May 2008 apprehensive about a new life in a new city with just one suitcase and no idea what was in store for me… but in the last few years, I’ve had amazing experiences and travelled to many places that I wouldn’t have dared to even dream about… It’s been a rollercoaster ride with many more highs than lows.

Now it’s time to say Good Bye… As they say ‘every end is a new beginning’… So now I’m looking forward to many more adventures with my family and friends in Sri Lanka.
I will end this post by saying Thanking each and every one of you who have made my stay here memorable, and I would love to show you our little island Sri Lanka sometime… You all made Geneva a home away from home for me.

My Happiness Project

2011-09-17T23:24:00.001+02:00

Recently I started reading 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin. It’s an interesting book about her year of trying to improve 12 aspects of her life one for each month, and in the process trying to become a happier person. Some of the areas she focuses on include energy, marriage, kids, work, relationships with friends and her spiritual side.

You might wonder why someone like me, who seems to be having a great life, read books on Happiness (you may also remember a previous post on Happiness which I wrote). I believe that we're all learning creatures, constantly trying to improve ourselves and our circumstances, and in the process find happiness. For me happiness is a state of mind, where you are content and satisfied with all around you. Of course it's easier for me who has nothing much to complain about compared to someone who has a serious illness such as cancer or lost a family member or is does not know from where his next meal will come... but still I often find myself being grumpy or finding faults with the world around me.

As a child I was very shy and reserved and did not smile much with people, once long ago I remember an old lady at some party saying that she thought I had a nice smile but looked unfriendly as I rarely smiled... Afterwards I thought about it and tried to be friendlier and smile... That was the beginning of my turning into 'smiley', the pseudonym I gave myself when I first started this blog. In the description of the blog I say that ‘I try to see the bright side of life’, but somewhere along the way I got overshadowed by the clouds and forgot to see the silver lining.

Reading this book reminded me to go back to the old chirpy me... To cut people more slack, not to think the worst of people's intentions. To do things without complaining or grumbling, after all the complaints and negativity not only affect oneself, but it also affects those around you. Unfortunately it’s often the nearest and the dearest who have to suffer through your complaints and whining. Not only is it better for the people around you when you are happy, but it also helps you to feel better. Many times smiling in spite of feeling bad, has made me feel better. So why do we complain so much? Because you tend to get more attention when you complain. No one gets attention for being the ‘happy person’; people don’t care too much about the feelings of the ‘happy person’, not like the ‘grumpy person’ whom everyone is much more sensitive to as you don't want to set that person off! I guess that's why most of us in spite of knowing that having a positive attitude is beneficial to all, still continue being our negative selves. I have been trying to reduce negativity and wrote about it on my previous post 'Stopping the spread of negativity'.

I think lately my blog has turned into my happiness project, though unintentionally... when i write down things I want to improve in my life it is in black and white, and I've written it for the world to see (even if it's only a few close friends who generally read it!). So I feel that I need to commit more to it, and when I look at the blog, the titles remind me of my resolutions. After all if I want any changes in the world, that change has to start with me… I'm going to try to make my 'happy' resolution work especially in the next few months against the stresses of getting ready and leaving Switzerland, all the admin stuff as well as packing and cleaning and sorting out...

It's not easy being a 'good Samaritan'...

2011-09-10T20:34:00.000+02:00

Today I had totally run out of food in the house as I was sick last week and went to our neighbourhood supermarket to stock up. In the supermarket I passed by a guy who had one arm which seemed paralysed but the other arm was fine. As I was buying the veges he was struggling to open a clingy bag to put his veges into. These are the kind of annoying bags that even with both hands you have difficulty opening! As I saw him I wondered if I should help, or would he think of it as pity? does he want to be independent? Should I speak in English or broken French? While I was in my own reverie wondering what to do he had managed to open the bag and had moved on...

The twist of the tale was when after my shopping I left my three bags on the floor to return the shopping cart, and one of my bags toppled over and my plums rolled onto the floor. Who was behind smiling with a couple of plums in his good hand, but the same guy I was contemplating helping. He didn't think twice about it, just picked up the plums and gave me! In the end I just thanked him and wished him a nice day and left...

On my way home I realised how much we sometimes over-think and over-complicate situations. Easiest thing to do would have to simply ask if he needed help. What's the worst that could have happened, he could have said no, and I wouldn't have felt bad about not helping someone... but at the time I didn't ask... While this was a very small incident (if you could even call it that) I think one of the reasons this stayed in my mind was because it made me wonder how helpful I would be to a stranger in trouble... I would like to think that I'd be the 'good samaritan' and just help, or would I over think things till its too late? Often when you see something its easy to say its not my business, or I don't want to create a scene or someone else will help and many other excuses and do nothing, but at the end of the day it's better to err in the side of being helpful than to do nothing.

Who says you can’t’ go home…

2011-08-20T16:57:00.001+02:00

I spent twenty years tryin' to get out of this place

I was lookin' for somethin' I couldn't replace
I was runnin' away from the only thing I've ever known

And like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold

I've been there, done that, now I ain't lookin' back
And the seeds I've sown, savin' dimes
Spendin' too much time on the telephone
Who says you can't go home?

Who says you can't go home?
There's only one place that call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy, born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home?

Who says you can't go back?
Been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left, I want to go
Who says you can't go home? It's alright
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright

I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face
There isn't one of these lines that I would erase
I left a million mile of memories on that road

Every step I take, I know that I'm not alone
You take the home from the boy but not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I've ever known
Who says you can't go home?

Who says you can't go home?
There's only one place that call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy, born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home?

I've been there, done that, now I ain't lookin' back
It's been a long, long road, feels like I've never left
That's how the story goes

It doesn't matter where you are, doesn't matter where you go
If it's a million miles away or just a mile up the road
Take it in, take it with you when you go
Who says you can't go home?

I was just listening to Bon Jovi’s ‘Have a nice day’ album and heard, ‘Who says you can’t go home’. It suddenly took on a new significance to me as I am getting ready to go back home to Sri Lanka and settle down with Lakshi there from November 2011.

Looking back at the past four years I consider my time in Cambridge and Geneva my wonder years, where I spent my free time trying to find myself, in acting, writing, connecting with nature, discussions with friends… I think I really grew as a person in these few years… I think it also helped me find out who I am, especially as the initial years I was here alone and was able to explore my thoughts and feelings on my own… Of course we’re always changing trying to become better people, and no matter how hard you try it’s impossible to really understand yourself completely, but I think the last few years helped a lot in becoming who I am now.

While my time away from ‘home’ both here in Geneva and in Cambridge have been amazing, I’m now really looking forward to going home. I’m looking forward to spending time with family and old friends. I’m looking forward to living in a nice home with a garden instead of the tiny apartment that we live in here. Now that the war is over, I’m looking forward to being part of rebuilding the country. I dream of a developed Sri Lanka, and I think it is within our grasp if only everyone worked trying to develop the country instead of only focussing on personal benefits.

When I originally came to Geneva and told people that I will only be here for a few years, get some experience, learn about the world, travel and then go back, they all told me that I would never leave Geneva as they believed that I wouldn't be able to give up the life style here, or the salary. But I believe that there’s so much more to life than riches such as family, friends, knowing that this is your ‘home’ and not having to worry about permits and visas; knowing you belong. So that’s why this song really came to my mind, cos I am coming home soon…

With great power comes great responsibility…

2011-08-13T16:58:00.002+02:00

Were the wise words of uncle Ben to ‘Spiderman’, and so it is with any kind of power, not only ‘Super powers’. I just started to think about the power of technology and social networking while reading about the recent London riots which were organised and planned using blackberry messaging and through social networks like Twitter. These are the same technologies, the same networks that enabled the world to be updated and aware about the events during the Egypt and Libya uprisings when media could not reach the spots, the same technologies that helped survivors of the Mumbai blasts let each other know of whereabouts through constant tweets.

While in one part of the world the Web 2.0 and social networking were used to overcome political oppression or disasters, in another part it is now being used as a tool for rioters to plan more activities to destroy a city or to spread rumours and tarnish the reputation of an organisation set up to save lives (read this for more on how the Associated press article which claimed corruption of Global Fund financing without proper factual base was circulated all over the world…Don’t get me started on this one). I was just thinking about how the many wonderful inventions which give us so much power to communicate to the whole world, to network, if not used with responsibility could also be the same technologies to bring about our own destruction. After all technology is simply a tool with no soul, no conscience, available to be used by anyone. While I do not endorse governments or any other body screening the use of internet or social networks, it also seems that the total free usage can also cause very serious problems, especially in the wrong hands.

These amazing innovations can help us to live much more productive lives, reach many more people… even the fact that I’m able to write this and with a click of a button anyone in the world can see it, is a miracle, but it’s the same button that can be used to spread lies… in the end the technology is not to be blamed, its simply the enabler. We can literally reach the world through our fingertips, so with that power it is each and every one of our responsibility to ensure that we use this power to improve the world we live in, not to destroy it.

We can blame governments and society, circumstances, but then two people going through the same bad circumstances do not end up in the same way, one may choose to steal or destroy while the other might choose to fight crimes or work hard and help society... What is it that causes the difference? I wish I knew... Is it religion? believing in a higher purpose? love? Equality?

In conclusion… I have no conclusion and no solution just many questions... All I can do for now is to ensure that I use what ever power I have responsibly...Making the world a better place, one person at a time...

Stopping the spread of negativity...

2011-08-04T17:12:00.001+02:00

Will this comment help our company?
Will this comment help our customers?
Will this comment help the person I’m talking to?
Will this comment help the person I’m talking about?
If the answer is no, no, no and no, don’t say it!
-Turning a Negative into a Positive by Marshall Goldsmith
I came across this article and I feel it is very relevant, especially during this time of change in many organisations. The first thing you notice in any organisation that is going through change is complaints and whining of the staff.

I can see first-hand how all the corridor conversations are poisoning the atmosphere as we’re also going through some re-organisations. The negative atmosphere spreads like a cancer effecting all the healthy cells or in this case the optimistic motivated people in the organisation. We have some amazing people who are intrinsically motivated and love what they do, especially as they know they are working for a greater good, but since of late the motivation seems to have drastically declined. While it is important that Senior Management communicate everything transparently and manage change in such a way that the effect on staff is minimised, I think we’re also responsible for our own attitude and actions. After all they are all human and trying their best too. Of course if you have constructive criticism it’s important to share it with the decision makers, and it’s the responsibility of the leaders to listen to the concerns of staff, but just whining and complaining only robs that person and others around of energy and has no positive impact.

Of course I know that this is much easier said than done, so I am also telling this to myself. I’m happy to say today I managed to avoid any such conversations which would end up with me feeling even more stressed and no positive result. How long will I be able to continue to not complain? That I do not know, ofcourse after reading the article above ‘Turning a Negative into a Positive', its heartening to know that even famous writers such as Marshaell Goldsmith are not immuned to destructive comments.

I wonder what the world would be like if we all stuck to these rules even when speak in general. In an earlier post I also blogged about only saying things if they are ‘Good, True or Useful’… There would be no gossip, or belittling, or deception! It’s hard to even imagine such a place, and even harder to imagine myself actually following this rule everyday. Sometimes it seems that the more interesting topics of talking are around negativity… Why is that? It’s much more easy finding faults than appreciating the good. Is it the way we’re conditioned? To keep looking at the glass half empty and not half full?

Sometimes its important to acknowledge when things are not right and especially when you feel bad and stressed. Sometimes its good to discuss the way you feel and get it out of the system and we all have the right to feel what we do, the difference is not to just spread the negativity or project negativity to others making them the 'bad guy'. If there is something really bothering you, its important to tell to the person but not to discuss it behind his back.

I am going to try my best not to be a vehicle for this negative ‘cancer’ to spread. I might actually become rather quiet if I do. I'm going to try to challenge myself to try to find other intersting topics, like travelling or hobbies :) and to become more creative and find other interesting subjects to discuss…

Avoiding Conflicts

2011-08-02T19:54:00.014+02:00

Recently we had a communication skills training where our trainer described the many stages between when someone says or does something until the point when we react. First we hear or see the action of the other person, then we interpret it taking into account our own world view, we judge what that means to us, this judgement may cause an emotion and then we react. Usually all this happens within seconds. But what we must realise is that only the hearing or seeing of the action is objective, the rest is subjective according to our own values, culture, experiences and many other factors including our mood. So the interpretation and judgement are the first steps towards a long drawn misunderstanding. This is especially true working in a multicultural environment as cultural norms tend to differ widely. What one person may think as being straight forward another would view as rude! What one person sees as politeness is what another would consider ‘beating around the bush’.

When this process evokes a strong emotional response, we may react without thinking and start a conflict. One of the main messages of the training was to try to control that emotion and take time to process and understand the other person before reacting. It is important not to project our own thoughts and feelings, but to ask the other person what they meant and to listen with an open mind... A method of engaging in difficult conversations that was discussed was to initially only state the facts; such as “I saw…” or “I heard you say…” Then to say what you felt when you heard or saw it, as no one can say that you can’t feel that way, and you are not making the other person the bad guy. Then to finally ask the person what they think about it, giving them the benefit of the doubt and the space to explain.

I have heard about the importance of using ‘I’ statements in conflicts before, but usually in the heat of the moment I always forget them, especially when I get emotional and sometimes it's even felt physically! The suggestion by the trainer was simply to take a break at the point when you start feeling emotional, not to say anything at all. In the end it’s all about seeing things from the other person’s point of view and trying to understand them.

To be a candle in the darkness…

2011-07-26T15:57:00.002+02:00

Lord, a candle stands before me.

It burns restlessly, sometimes with a small, sometimes with a larger flame.
I too am often restless. Let me find rest in You.
It gives me light and warmth. Let me too be light for the world.
It consumes itself in its service. May I also be of service to people.
With this candle I can ignite other candles.
May I also contribute in this way that others may begin to shine.

I came across this prayer when we dropped into a lovely church in Lucerne to light a candle for our intentions. It reminded me of my favourite quote by George Bernard Shaw (which is also the description of this blog). The quote talks about being a splendid torch, but even that torch most probably got its light from a tiny candle... There is something beautiful about the flame of a candle flickering in the wind, that has always drawn me to it. Today with electricity the candle doesn’t have that same significance to give light, but I always see the value each time there is a power cut (when I was in Sri Lanka) and we light the house with candles, its wonderful how even a single candle can pierce the darkness and give light…

I would like to be like a candle, giving light to dispel the darkness rather than just cursing it. This is also the motto of a Sri Lankan association which was started to help the needy called CandleAid formerly known as AFLAC (Association For Lighting A Candle). I came across this organisation when I was at the University of Moratuwa studying engineering and across from our University there was a blind colony which was helped by AFLAC. There were 5 houses with around 7 blind, very old and feeble ladies and gentlemen with no one to look after them. I remember doing a community services project where we went with some Civil engineering students and improved their houses and blocked leaks so that they would not slip and fall when the rain water leaked from their roofs. We also went there a few times to talk to them, take food and rations (they especially loved sweets) and they always welcomed us holding our hands to say hello, they even sang Christmas carols to entertain us… I wonder how they are now… I haven’t visited them for a very long time, I guess life gets busy and then we forget about the less fortunate. Especially living in Switzerland I don’t really see much poverty. Even the beggars here dress quite well. Of course I’m sure they have hard lives, trying to live in such an expensive location with no proper income, but the sheer level of poverty is not so obvious here and when you don’t see them you don’t feel guilty for not doing anything.

I have now hung up the prayer from the church to remind me to be that ‘candle’ rather than just a complaining or cursing the darkness…

Empty Airports...

2011-07-23T13:20:00.053+02:00

I just dropped off Lakshi at the airport yesterday and started to write this post while waiting for him to confirm that everything was ok... Just waiting there gave this very lonely feeling...

I've always disliked airports; whether coming into an empty airport seeing everyone else being reunited with parents, kids, husbands, wives, friends and even dogs; or saying good bye and dropping off a loved one at the airport and leaving alone... Even though you know that you would see each other soon, it still has a feeling of finality... there's an air of missing or losing someone at the airport.

As a frequent traveller myself, the part I dislike the most is when I have to arrive at any airport alone. For the past year or so I didn't feel it cos Lakshi and I travelled together so there were no empty airports, but yesterday it came back again. I don't mind the travel time alone, I'm happy reading, or watching a movie, or even writing a blog post, but I've always hated the arrival or leaving an 'empty' airport... It's full of people but 'empty' for me.

Is there really an 'Adjustment Bureau?'

2011-07-08T14:44:00.001+02:00

Yesterday some friends and I met up for a lovely pot luck dinner with International food and while chatting watched the ‘Adjustment Bureau’. I had watched it already some time ago, and a few of us started discussing it’s concept… Whether there really is something called ‘Free Will’ or as in the movie whether we’re all living predetermined paths leading to a destination which has been planned by ‘The Chairman’ as the movie puts it, or God.

In a nut shell the movie revolves around an up and coming Politian running for the US Senate (played by Matt Demon) and a lovely dancer whom he meets by chance and he falls for her, but according to the ‘plan’ they should not be together. The ‘Adjustment Bureau’ is the agency with men who ensure that all people's lives proceed according to the predetermined ‘plan’ which has been set by ‘The Chairman’. So he sends his ‘caseworkers’ to ensure that this relationship does not happen, but in the end, due to the unrelenting pursuit of the couple ‘The Chairman’ changes their predetermined destiny and they are allowed to be together.

The movie raises the question whether God or any other supernatural force has a plan and uses angels to ensure that we live according to it. If so what about free will, are we just some puppets moving through life according to ‘the plan’? Does God plan for some people to murder and rape and hurt others? But if God does not have a plan, is God simply a silent observer watching the world go around and people in their distress? Or is there no such higher power? With our limited intellect and knowledge of the world we cannot know with certainty, but this is my theory based on my own experiences.

I think that’s God exists and he does have a plan for each of us, an optimal plan which would lead us to become the ‘highest form of our self’ not only in terms of personal development, but also spiritually… to follow the example of Jesus Christ. But at the same time He has given us Free Will and choice. So we can wonder off that path that God had in mind. I think he tries to lead us on the correct path through our conscience as well as through signs along the way. In my life, I think my decision to come to Geneva was based on such a sign (which you can read about from my previous post). I think God is like a GPS navigation system in the car after you have input the destination. It will show you which way to turn when you come across a junction, and if you ignore the advice and turn the other way, it will tell you the next possible turn so that you can get to the destination and so on until it is shut off. In the same manner I think God will continue sending signals through people, friends, incidents, to show you the correct path, which you can ignore, and then he’ll send more signs until the day you leave this world, of course people can choose not to heed the signs… Its like the parable of the drowning man who had asked God to help, and when a boat passed by asking the man to get on board, he said ‘I have faith God will rescue me’ then a ship passed by and the same thing happened and finally a helicopter sent down a ladder and he still said ‘God will rescue me’ and drowned in the end. When he asked God why he didn’t rescue him, God said, 'I sent you a boat, a ship and a helicopter and you didn’t get into any of them! '.

If God has a plan the other question that comes to mind is what about all the bad things, the natural disasters, the diseases where they all part of that plan? It seems that many of these things are caused by years and years of human abuse of nature rather than any plan of God… We’re not only individuals we live in this interconnected web, so one person going off the path could impact someone else’s life too, how would that work? I think that even if we get off the path momentarily due to another’s actions, God will show us how to use it for our advantage and get back on our path… In the end I think as long as we focus on being the best people we can be and follow the example of Jesus Christ and the signs God sends us, we will have a great life on earth.

The Blind leading the sighted...

2011-07-06T15:17:00.000+02:00

Last weekend Lakshi and I visited Lucerne and Zurich. While I found Lucerne to be one of the prettiest towns I’ve visited with ancient bridges and churches and the world famous ‘Lion Monument’, the highlight of the weekend was our dinner at the Blindekuh (literally meaning Blind Cow and the word is also used for the game ‘Blind man’s bluff’ in German) Restaurant. The tagline you see as you enter the restaurant says ‘We’ll give you a meal that nobody has seen!’

The concept of Blindekuh started around 10 years ago in Zurich with the aim of giving sighted people the experience of being blind, and to create jobs for visually impaired people. You can find out more about the origins of the restaurant here. Currently the restaurant in Zurich is self-financing and you can see the popularity by the fact that we had to reserve 3 months ahead to get places in the weekend.

We had an unforgettable experience with the reversal of ‘roles’ and heightened senses. Here we were the ones who were led into the pitch black ‘space’ by our attentive blind waitress Cornelia(I call it ‘space’ as we have no idea how large it was or anything about it). She told our friend to hold on to her shoulders and we formed a ‘train’ one behind the other and followed her. She knew where to go while we were all just holding tightly to each other as we tried not to stumble and fall on our way to the table. Cornelia tried to talk and ensure that we were all fine during our long walk (I think it just felt long since we couldn’t see the destination) from the lighted reception to our table where it was dark to the point where it didn’t matter if you had your eyes open or closed. We were to call her by name when we needed anything.

Before entering into the dark room we were shown the menus and asked to choose. I had a lovely shrimp and Chinese noodles starter, sea bass with passion fruit sauce and rice and picked the surprise for the desert. It was fun as the desert had 5 different types and we had to guess what they were just by tasting and feeling it. The food was delicious and I noticed that my sense of smell was heightened. Initially had opted not to have a starter, but when I ‘smelled’ the starter the others in our group were having I just called out to Cornelia and asked for one too! It was great to observe how she could say from where the voice came from but for us we were often confused whether she was talking to us or someone else nearby. Eating with fork and knife was another challenge when we couldn’t see what we were poking! So sometimes I stuck an empty fork in the mouth without realising it! In the end I just decided to use my hands.

While dining we noticed how much of our conversation is around sight, even when we were trying to tell each other what we ‘feel’, without thinking we would say ‘I see there’s …’ or ‘It looks like…’. I noticed that my sense of feeling seemed to have heightened too when I felt a tiny thing drop on my lap to see (again I used ‘see’ when what I meant was feel) it was one of my tiny earrings. I’m sure I wouldn’t have felt it ordinarily. Even the famous saying is ‘seeing is believing’ it’s almost as if we don’t trust our other senses. We have to ‘see’ to know something, so it was especially interesting for me to immerse myself in a world without sight.

I left the dinner with a much greater respect to all those who are blind or partially sighted. It would be so difficult if I had to live in that darkness forever with no colour, no sight… but then, maybe they can feel and hear colour… their other senses are so much more acute to compensate for the lack of sight. Maybe we’re the ones who are missing something in our smell, taste, hearing and touch since the sight always overpowers them all. We will never know what we do not know…

Midnight in Paris

2011-06-16T21:10:00.001+02:00

It was more like 4 nights in Paris! and while we didn’t meet the great artists and writers during late night strolls through the lovely streets of Paris, we did manage to go back in time and also to enter a whole new magical world during our visit. La vie en rose (French for "Life through rose-coloured glasses", literally "Life in pink") by Edith Piaf was playing in my head most of the time as we walked in Paris, just like in the movie, so that’s why I decided to call this post ‘Midnight in Paris’. The song really seems to suit the character of the city! I think Paris is the most romantic city in the world and its lovely to share it with my husband.

We arrived Thursday afternoon and after dumping our bags in the hotel, went straight to Arc de triumph. Then we strolled along that very prestigious lovely avenue Champs Elysees, dropping into all the designer stores and checking out lots of stuff which we could never afford to buy! We had dinner at one of the cute cafes on Champs Elysees and continued to walk up to the Eiffel Tower by which time it was almost 10pm. At the beginning of each hour the lights in the Eiffle tower start flickering like millions of little fireflies and it was soooo beautiful. The view from the top of the tower was breath taking seems as if you can see the whole city from up there all lit up.

The second day was my favourite when we entered the enchanted world of Disney! With my usual crazy planning schedules we managed to be at the entrance even before the park opened with ticket in hand, and made a bee line to the big thrill rides as soon as we were let in! I'm a huge fan of the big exciting rollercoasters (especially the ones that turn you upside down) like Indiana Jones Temple of Peril, Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain… of course even the other kiddy rides were so cute like the Small World with little dolls from all over the world dancing to the song ‘It’s a small world’ while we floated by on the boat and Snow White, and Peter Pan.

Another reason why I loved it so much was as it has been a childhood dream of mine to visit Disneyland for as long as I can remember. One of those crazy things on my ‘bucket list’ (well to be honest I think I’ve already done a lot of things on my bucket list!) And ofcourse I loved the parades too. It literally was out of this world. I loved the last Parade when all the major Disney Characters float by including my personal favourite 'Pooh Bear!'. I felt like a little kid too!

What really struck me was how as soon as you enter in its like you've entered fairy land with the lovely pink and purple castle at the entrance and all the rainbow shaded buildings. Everything fitted into the fairy land fantasy, including shops and restaurants. Talking of shops another thing that struck me going in now as an adult is how much it has been commercialised. Everywhere you look there's toys, candy, clothes all to imitate Disney characters, and neatly arranged just outside each store to tempt the kids. So you can see so many kids who are really enjoying being in this fairyland but at the same time miserable cos their parents won't buy everything they asked for...

We went to a number of lovely restaurants where the food was delicious and even tried Snails! (they actually taste nice, like muselles i think). Another plan of mine was to practice my basic French while in Paris, but it was almost impossible! I kept trying to speak in French at Cafes and Restaurants and the waiters and waitresses kept replying in English!

On the third and fourth days we visited Louvre, Versailles Palace, Miraculous Medal Church in Rue du Bac, Sacre Coeur, Montmartre (Basilica of Sacred Heart), Notre Dame Cathedral. They were lovely but I guess since I had seen most of them, and seen so many museums and churches by now, they all seem almost similar to me. We also went to Nevers where St Bernadette's body is still intact without being decayed and in a glass cage. Even though it was the second time I was in Nevers St Bernedettes life made a huge impact on me, her simple life of humility and love and how God chose the simple over the rich and powerful…You can see more about it in my previous Easter in Lourdes post.

All in all we had a lovely time in Paris, and here are some pictures we took there. More can be found on https://picasaweb.google.com/roshanthi.lucas/Paris2011#

Easter in Rome

2011-04-29T18:41:00.000+02:00

This year I spent Easter in Rome with Lakshi and it was my second time in the city… surprisingly it wasn’t as exciting as it was the first time I was there. The first time I remember I was so excited and loved all the sculptures, paintings, historical buildings and ruins. I think it was also extra exciting as I had just read angels and demons and then experienced sites that were described in the book. This time too of course I enjoyed it, but it was really crowded and we spent so much time in queues and the cathedrals and sculptures and paintings started to merge into each other… maybe I’m jaded, after travelling like crazy around Europe in my first couple of years here, now the scenery, history, art seems to be similar. I must admit though that it was lovely travelling with a partner rather than alone for a change.

The main reason we chose to go to Rome during Easter was to attend the Papal masses at St Peters’ Basilica. It was amazing to observe the way people stood in queues (including us) for 3 to 4 hrs to attend the papal Good Friday mass and Easter vigil mass. We attended both of these masses, and stayed in queues ourselves, and it was funny to see how the cardinals and the pope were treated like rock stars! I guess maybe it has to do with the feeling that you are part of something greater than yourself, a great big family with so many others with the same faith and beliefs…

We met many people while waiting in queues for mass, from all over the world as far as South America and Australia especially in Rome to get a glimpse of the Pope and for the Papal Blessing held on Easter Sunday morning in St Peters Square, and as I watched the fanfare for the Royal wedding, it reminded me of our experience in Rome with people shouting and waving flags on Easter Sunday morning during the Papal Blessing! It was also very touchig when the Pope wished everyone in many languages, including Sinhala (my mother tongue)… We were told that if you attend the Easter Sunday papal blessing and confess and denounce sin, you would have to spend less time in purgatory. I don’t know exactly what happens after death, but we too went for confession. For me the confession was more about meditating on the wrong I’ve done and trying to become a better person. I think it’s the genuine rejection of sin and faith that saves you.

All the sculptures and the Vatican museums and fountains were as beautiful as ever. One of my favourite places was the Trevi Fountain, but was sad that it was squeezed between ugly new buildings which spoiled the effect. I was trying to imagine how ancient Rome would have looked like, with all these amazing architecture, fountains, paintings... Being in the Colosseum and imagining the Gladiators also horrified me… human beings murdering each other, or being murdered by animals was a form of entertainment. Maybe they just walked in with a snack to see who was going to get killed and how bloody the fight would be!

Overall though the trip was fun, though I was able to get more in touch with my spiritual side at Lourdes during Christmas, rather than in Rome this Easter in spite of attending the masses celebrated by the Pope. I think part of it was due to the crowd and queues where finally when I entered the church I just wanted to sit out of exhaustion rather than kneel and pray. I also think I have been spoilt by Geneva, cos after living here with the peace and quiet and very clean streets, with great public transport and mountains in the distance everywhere else seems dirty and crowded!

I’ll end this post with a few pictures of Lakshi and me in Rome…of course as everyone else we did put a coin in the Trevi Fountain so that we would be able to come back to Rome again! So until next time...

Another New Year is here...

2011-01-04T17:45:00.000+01:00

Already the New Year has begun and usually with the end of the year I make so many New Year Resolutions, which are forgotten as we get to the middle of the year… already I’ve forgotten what my last year’s New Year resolution was… So this year I’m going to keep it simple… My New Year resolution: try to be the Best person; Best wife; Best daughter; Best friend and Best employee that I can be… And like the song says ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ though ofcourse it’s easier said than done… After all, there’s no point in worrying after I’ve given my best try even if there is a problem, then I just have to hand it all into to God’s hands and know that he will take care of me, as he has done all these years!

I’ll wind up with post wishing you all a Very Happy New Year with no Worries!

Merry Christmas to Everyone!

2010-12-23T15:52:00.000+01:00

It’s that time of year again, with all the festivities and parties and decorations. The streets are beautiful in Geneva with all the lights, and snow. It’s easy to forget the real meaning of Christmas and get caught up in the festivities. We already attended around five Christmas parties organised by various friends! Television tells you that you have to give the most expensive gift you can find, to show that you care, and have the biggest Christmas tree and the prettiest decorations, but the real meaning of Christmas is lost in all this hustle and bustle… What is the meaning of Christmas? The humble birth of our saviour Jesus Christ, the beginning of Christianity, time to value friends and family and reflect on our own lives…

So this year hubby and I thought we will try to get closer to God during Christmas and spend it in Lourdes, France where mother Mary appeared to St Bernadette. It is such a lovely town and I remember when I went there last year I felt more in touch with my spiritual side (my previous visit is described here ). Also the humble life of St Bernadette reminds you of how humble Christmas really was all those years ago. So hopefully this year our stay in Lourdes will help us both become closer to God and each other and really understand the true meaning of Christmas.

This will be our first Christmas together and also my first Christmas without my parents and extended family. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I think this is specially so at Christmas… so I wrote this poem for my parents to wish them a Wonderful Christmas and New Year!

This card is sealed with lots of love
And coming from afar,
To let you know that at Christmas we’re with you in Spirit
Though physically in cold Geneva.

Although we’re now across the miles
It’s times like Christmas that reminds us…
To tell you that you’re always close in our hearts
And to appreciate all the wonderful things that a parent does

If we forgot to say Thank you
For every single thing you’ve done in past 30 years,
Or if we forgot to say I’m sorry
For the hurt we caused or for bringing tears.

This message is also to say Thank you for everything
And even if not mentioned, it is all carved in our hearts,
It is also to say we’re so sorry if we hurt you
Cos you are, of our lives a very important part.

We wish that God would bless you
With all his choicest blessings,
We wish that he would give you
Good health, happiness and days with sun shining

We are who we are, because of you
Every good thing we’ve done has been encouraged by you
So here’s wishing you both
A wonderful Christmas a happy year that’s new

I shall end this post wishing each of you and your families a Blessed Christmas and Wonderful New Year ahead.

Addicted to Success

2010-12-20T17:22:00.004+01:00

At first glance you would think it’s great to be addicted to success, but what I realised recently is that there's two sides to it... the other side of the coin is the fear of failure. Personally I have found that my greatest fear is the fear of failure. This can hamper all aspects of life, from work to personal achievements to even relationships, as we have to take calculated risks if we ever want to get anywhere.
I was doing a part time project at a research organisation while I was on my 4 month break. While working there the Prof I was working with asked me, were you ranked first in class throughout in your school? I was pleasantly surprised and thought, wow he must be really impressed with my work to ask such a question! and replied yes, that I often was. To this he replied ‘Yes I thought so. You seem to have a fear of giving wrong answers.’ This conversation started while we were discussing some background information regarding the project and he had asked me to make some estimates, to which I said that it depended on many factors and that I needed more information before I could estimate. Then he told me, If you want to do research, you will have to get over this fear, as research is based on many assumptions, and hypothesis, and you have to just guess and then see if it is correct.

Then I also realised this fear was also one of the reasons I had a fear of speaking up at meetings and presentations... my fear of asking stupid questions, or giving wrong answers... difficulty I have in speaking French and making mistakes or speaking with a wrong accent, which I posted about earlier http://smileysuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/12/french-snow.html#links... This fear of making mistakes, or the addition to success literally cripples, and keeps me from trying new things.

Here is a really thought provoking article on success through failure from the Harvard Business Review blog http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/12/why_i_hire_people_who_fail.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

So my lesson of the day, you can’t always be right, or be sure of everything, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and just try...

I have not failed, I've just found ten thousand ways that won't work." – Thomas Edison

My big fat Sri Lankan Wedding

2010-12-16T17:30:00.002+01:00

It’s been a very long time since I’ve blogged… Last time was before I left on my 4 month vacation to Sri Lanka… and now I;m back with my hubby in Geneva! Today is our 2 month wedding anniversary… can’t believe that 2 months have gone already since our wedding, feels like a few days ago we were rushing around getting everything ready and ofcourse the big day! As they say time flies when you’re having fun

These days we’re settling down in Geneva in my tiny apartment, trying to keep each other warm in these really really cold winter days! It was a major shock to both our systems coming from 30 degrees to -6 and layers and layers of snow!!! Sure it’s very pretty but only if you are snug and warm and inside can you admire the beauty… outside is freeeeeezing, they say global warming is happening, but to me feels more like global freezing. In all the time I’ve been in Geneva I’ve never seen a winter this cold, and even friends who’ve practically lived here all their lives complain that this is one of the coldest and it’s not even Jan yet! In the last few weeks we both got sick too, but now recovering…

In the last few months there has been way too many things happening to put into a blog post, and the biggest of them was of course my wedding after months and months of preparation couldn’t believe when it was over within a few hours… but all in all, the wedding went really well; everything happened as planned; we had a lovely church ceremony celebrated by our family priest; and all our friends and family were there (couple of my friends even made it from places as far away as Spain, UK and India, especially for the wedding!)… Of course in the usual big (well medium in SL standards with around 300 guests) fat, Sri Lankan wedding style most of the guests were our parent’s friends and relatives of whom we only recognized a handful and we went from table to table with a big smile pretending we knew everyone and thanking for their wishes… I must say that at the end of the day, I think my mouth was numb from too much smiling!

The highlight of the day for me was when my usually shy hubby really surprised me with a really touching reply to the toast! Then we had our first dance to my all-time favourite song ‘Bed of Roses’, we choreographed it as we both love dancing and had a lot of fun.

Since writing about the wedding and the last few months of preparing for it would take forever, thought I’ll upload some pics instead! And there’s many more on my Picasa site http://picasaweb.google.com/roshanthi.lucas/WeddingRoshLakshi# After all they do say that a picture is worth a thousand words!

At church

With our wonderful parents

The Bridal Retinue

The happy couple

With my maid of honour

I’ll end this post with the poem my best friend and maid of honour wrote for our wedding…

Like everything else,
My grandma once said
That marriage is a journey
Like one that of a river

So the river flows
Through even ground
Through brooks and fisherman's nets
To make graceful waterfalls

But it also flows through
Through broken beds of stone
Through rocks and currents
Towards sloppy and slanted earth

But the river flows
Despite the highs and lows
For the journey is good
For the journey noble

So the river flows
Till she finds her peace in the ocean
Her heart felt bosom friend
Her good old all that is

So this is my wish for you
My 2 dear friends
That you flow like a river
And grow and share life together

Learning to take a complement

2010-08-25T20:39:00.003+02:00

A weakness that I have noticed in many of us, specifically I have noticed this with most of my Sri Lankan lady friends, is that we dont know how to take a complement. We often find excuses whenever someone says something nice. For example if someone says you’re wearing a nice dress, we say, oh it’s an old thing I got long ago, or when someone says you've done a great job, we say, oh anyone would have done it like that and so on...

Recently I noticed this when I was talking with a close friend of mine and complemented her, and as expected she made an excuse for her success. Then I remembered that I had also been told that I do this often, and it seems to be a common occurrence. Why do we have this need to make excuses for something good about us? Is it cos we don't feel worthy? I do believe that we are who we are due to the power that God gave us and not our power alone and also that we should not be arrogant, but at the same time, we should learn to accept credit gracefully when given, rather than making excuses. Our 'playing small' does not benefit anyone. It will simply undermine our own achievements.

So I told myself that next time someone says something nice I will just smile and say 'Thank you'!

Happiness, can anyone find it?

2010-06-10T19:19:00.002+02:00

These days I’ve been reading a couple of books, and strangely enough, they both have similar themes, even though expressed very differently. The main message in both is that we get what we seek, from happiness/unhappiness, riches/poverty, to the people we meet.

The first book I just finished is ‘Illusions – The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah’. This book talks about the world and how everything around us are made of illusions; it is the story of two pilots who meet and how one is the Master who teachers the other about the world. He talks about how we magnetize into our lives whatever we hold in our thought, including the people that we meet, happiness, sicknesses and so on. It talks about the world being like a movie, and we can choose to watch what ever kind of movie we like, comedy, horror, sad, romantic, and we could even change and go to see a different movie in the middle of one if we don’t like it. That some people for some reason actually want to see horror or sad movies, while others choose the comedies. It gave some interesting food for thought…

“But why would anybody want to be horrified? Or bored?”
“Because they think they deserve it for horrifying somebody else, or they like the excitement of horrification, or that boring is the way they think films have to be. Can you believe that lots of people for reasons that are very sound to them enjoy believing that they are helpless in their own films? No, you can’t.”
“No, I can’t,” I said. “Until you understand that, you will wonder why some people are unhappy. They are unhappy because they have chosen to be unhappy, and, Richard, that is all right!”

The other book I read is ‘Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential’ by Joel Osteen. It is very different to the first book in the way it is written, as this is more of a self help book by a pastor talking about how to live a more fulfilling life by having faith in God. What they both have in common though is that we all can be happy if we choose to be…

According to this book first, you need to enlarge your vision for your life. Until you begin to dream God sized dreams, you will never live your life at its full potential. Secondly, you need to develop a healthy self-image. Learn to love yourself before loving others. Thirdly, you should realize the power of your thoughts and words. He states that if we continue to think and talk negatively we will not live life at our full potential. Fourth, we need to let go of the past. Next, we need to learn how to find strength through adversity. Everyone will experience difficulties, but learning how to capitalize from these trials will help you live Your Best Life Now. Sixth, we need to live to give. God commands us to be generous. Lastly, we need to choose to be happy. Everyone experiences circumstances that can depress them, but if you want to experience Your Best Life Now you must choose to rejoice and thank God for all the blessings he has bestowed upon you.

This book talks about how we should expect God to give us the best in life, to remember that we are his children and that if we have enough faith in him and live ‘favor minded’ he will answer our prayers, and though we may have trials and tribulations in the end everything will be good. As our priest in Sunday mass put it during one sermon, we should live like babies, see how they put their complete and utter faith in their parents knowing that their parents will take care of them, and just like that we should also have an unwavering faith in God, who wouldn’t let any harm come to his ‘babies’.

Looking at my life so far, it seems true… ever since I started to believe and have faith in God and expect good things to happen, they have been happening, its like a dream, but now and then I need to be reminded not to think of the world negatively and to have faith and dream :)… Other than that, these books give a lot of food for thought and I am going to try to have faith and believe that the best will happen, to dream and choose to be happy… will it always work? I don’t know... I need more guinea pigs to test the hypothesis! Maybe I can try to research on it for my phd! :)

As for the question in the title, I really do think that anyone can find happiness, though it may take more effort by some people compared to others…

I’ll end this post with a few more quotes from Illusions…

“Attached! I was whocking that cloud with everything I had! Fireballs, laser beams, vacuum cleaner a block high...”
“Negative attachments, Richard. If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it, you just relax and remove it from your thinking. That’s all there is to it.”

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours."

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however."

“within each of us lies the power of our consent to health and to sickness, to riches and to poverty, to freedom and to slavery. It is we who control these.”

Happy Belated Birthday to me...

2010-05-13T21:33:00.004+02:00

I just celebrated my BIG 30 years on this planet yesterday!... Hmmm... don't really feel any different to be 30 something :) Life is still great, and I'll just say that I'm young at heart!

Looking back at the last dacade, life has been amazing and very very happening, from studying Engineering at the University of Moratuwa, to Working in Sri Lanka in the Telecom sector, to studying a MBA in Cambridge, to working here in Geneva in Not-for-profit at the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria, and to falling madly in love... It certainly has been a roller coaster ride, mainly with highs... and yesterday I realised that I seem to have made many wonderful friends along the way too... I was touched by the many wishes I received some from friends from school as well...

This year is only the beginning of the rest of my life, can't wait to see what the future holds... I'll be getting married later in the year, and cant wait to experience all our adventures together... sometimes I feel that God is being too good to me, my life seems too perfect...

So what does the next dacade hold? I have no idea, I never dreamt that my life would be what it is right now, so all I know is that as long as I have faith in God, and give my future into his hands, it would be wonderful.

Support the Global Fund

2010-04-27T23:32:00.000+02:00

I just saw this advocacy video for support for the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria (where I work in Geneva). It was so moving I had to post it. These are the days when I am very glad about my decision to move into the Not-for-Profit sector. It is wonderful to know that the work you do in someway helps eliviate the sufferings of others and help save lives. I just had to share this video with everyone.

Why?

2010-03-14T18:18:00.002+01:00

This is another poem I came across when I was looking in my old books. I wrote this when I was 16 years while studying in New Zealand (we lived in NZ for a year during my dad's sabatical). I wrote this poem for one of our creative writing assignments... I've always felt sad about inequality in the world and the injustices faced by many people in the world... This is why I now feel that not-for-profit is the sector that I should work in, as I atleast feel I'm helping to eradicate the suffering of some people... I guess in a way it's connected with my previous post too...

she's just a little girl,
Who should be playing like me and you,
But because she's so poor,
She has to work as slaves do.
Getting beaten each time she makes a mistake,
But like a saint she doesn't complain;
She suffers it all in silence,
She thinks that she's to blame.
Why is this world so unfair?
Doesnt anybody care?

His wife died a few years ago,
Instead of caring for him till his last days,
His children for whom he sacrificed so much
Heartlessly told him to go away.
So now for many years he has lived alone,
In the shadow of the street,
Without a friend to care,
Tired and weary on his feet.
Why is this once caring man now old,
Not have anyone to hold?

She was playing with her toys
When she saw a man with a gun;
He murdered her parents while she was watching
And all she could do was run.
Since that fateful day, her life was never the same
And so she took a knife;
Thought her life was not worth living
And so took her own life.
Why did this innocent girl,
End up in this wicked world?

Why do so many people,
Have to suffer till they grow old?
When others waste so much
And live in houses of gold.
Why don't these people so fortunate,
Take what they have and share,
With those who need their help?
Why doesn;t anybody care?

Is altruism real?

2010-02-20T15:38:00.007+01:00

This is a question that I was thinking about and I realised that it is an espectially suitable question now, at the beginning of the lental period. Last Wednesday (Ash Wednesday the beginning of the Lental Period) I went for the evening mass after work, and the preist was discussing the three pillars of Lent, Prayer, Fasting, and acts of goodwill. So I told my self I shall try to actually follow these principles, starting during lent, and maybe would have created a habit by the end of the 40 days and continue...

Then I was just thinking about my own motivations behind these actions of goodwill and realised that it does have a selfish root, it makes me feel good about myself. I think it is also because when I see poor people (specially when I was in Sri Lanka) I would feel guilty for having so much and them so little, so then when I try to be charitable with my time or money, It reduces my distress in witnessing their pain. I enjoy working in the Not-for-Profit sector as it gives me self satisfaction, and I feel like I'm working towards a greater good than my self... Doesn't that sound like a contradtion there?

So I started to read up on this dillema of whether there is such a thing as altruism, and came across this story.

"Abraham Lincoln illustrated the philosophical issue in a conversation with another passenger in a horse-drawn coach. After Lincoln argued that selfishness prompts all good deeds, he noticed a sow making a terrible noise. Her piglets had gotten into a pond and were in danger of drowning. Lincoln called the coach to a halt, jumped out, ran back, and lifted the little pigs to safety. Upon his return, his companion remarked, "Now, Abe, where does selfishness come in on this little episode?" "Why, bless your soul, Ed, that was the very essence of selfishness. I should have no peace of mind all day had I gone and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs.”
"Social Psychology" by David Myers, p477

Another interesting quote by Vexen Crabtree on 'Love' considered to be the most giving, unselfish emotion of all

"Love is perhaps the strongest emotion we possess. But love is ultimately selfish; the satisfaction and feel-good that it brings is an ultimate reward. Our instincts and needs underlie any altruistic behaviour, especially when it comes to love. That is part of the beauty of love... that you know your loved one loves you because it makes them feel good. You know that they know your love is selfish, and they are happy that you love them because it makes you feel good. Without this hidden, deeper selfishness, Human love would have less depth. Love is best and most beautiful when it comes from the depths of one person and extends to another, and both know that the other loves them for selfish reasons. We love someone because they make us feel good and they love us because we make them feel good. This combination is a supreme gift to our ego and helps explain why love is easily the most potent emotion."

Being a devout Catholic, these then made me think about religion, what does it mean if all good actually has a selfish root? I believe that God just made us that way so that people would naturally be good, for their own happiness, and for their own survival (though there seems to be bugs in the programming of some people like serial killers!)... After all this thinking and reserach, I still am not much closer to figuring out whether we're all good or all bad, but I will try to continue to be helpful and giving, especially during this lenten period and feel good :)

Going back in time...

2010-02-05T13:04:00.008+01:00

As I was going through some of my old nic nacs from home, I suddenly came across a couple of poems I had written when I was in my early teens. Reading them, made me realise how much I have changed across the years from the painfully shy kid with a strong inferiority complex to today, where I'm quite happy with life and who I am (though I'm always learning everyday)...

These poems made me think of how far I've come in the journey of life... I wander what I'd think reading my blog in 10 or 20 years time...

In my my early teens I considered guys to be of an alien species as I never had brothers and I studied at a single sex convent where the nuns made guys sound like evil octopuses waiting to get their tentacles around us! At the same time I was attracted to them too! So this poem was written with a friend when we were both in our early teens about how we felt... Of course this was an exaggeration, but you get the idea!

Why
I've always wondered why,
I act so weird around a guy.
I go bump into chairs everywhere,
and make them all stare.
So I try to act pretty cool,
In the end making myself look a fool.
The thing is that I wanna have a boy friend,
But I can't with them even a second spend.
And sometimes I wonder why,
I seem to be so shy(Especially in front of guys).
Which I really don't think is wise.
When ever I am self conscious,
To others I seem very anxious.
It really breaks my heart
Oh why oh why is life so hard?

Now after studying and working in a man's world (engineering), and with all my experiences in UK and Switzerland, I think that in the end we're all the same, with fears and hopes and dreams... the way we show them or what we like maybe different, but then they are also different from person to person even of the same sex... One thing that I wonder a lot about is whether what is considered as 'social norms' for men and for women are really inborn or are they due to the way we grew up... the famous nature or nurture debate...

While of course respecting the many biological differences, and knowing that we both have certain things that we tend to be better in, I wander if some of the differences are more to do with how we grew up rather than 'brain programming', even though book after book on men and women seem to claim the opposite... I think as I was the only child, I was both the girl and the boy in the family! So I became very independent and ambitious and liked numbers and technical things (which are considered to be male traits) and at the same time I loved music and dancing and had a strong interest in psychology and people and literature and am not very good at sports (which are considered to be female traits)...

So the more I think of it, the more I feel that people should be allowed to be themselves, rather than putting them into boxes and trying to find labels. To me this is true gender equality, where both men and women are allowed to be themselves as long as they are good people and don't harm others without society dictating terms on how they should behave...

Well I totally went off topic, but will add another old poem before ending this post, this was when I was chubby and tried my best to lose weight, funnily enough now, without trying I've lost all that puppy fat.

Trying to get thin
Some people want to be thin(for example me)
A great figure win
But that'll never be
For I've tried almost everything
Exercising, dieting, aerobics and all, but nothings working
And I won't even grow tall
My problem is that I don't eat much rice
And I try to cut down on other starchy things too
But cookies cakes and fries
I each a lot, Oh yes I do
When it comes to exercise and aerobics
I do them for a few days
And then I quit
And to loose weight I find other ways
So don't ever hope to be fat my dear friend
And with that
I will come to an end

Logic of Love

2010-01-24T20:26:00.007+01:00

I always thought of myself as a person who was ruled by logic, and not by whims and fancies or by moods or emotions... until recently that is, till I found myself in a wonderful relationship... For the last few years I have been alone, no man in my life, and I even convinced myself that it was better that way, no heart breaks, I do things my way and life is so much simpler, even if somewhat lonely...

Then I fell in love, and all logic was thrown out the window and total confusion began! I suddenly found my self to be much less logical, and irrational, crazy and moody and missing him even more after talking to him for half a day (this is a long distance relationship for now, which I think adds to the drama :)) and little jealousies over small things, and overly sensitive to every word he says and smile at the sound of his name, and all the soppy songs made me think of him, and I want to share every tiny detail of my life with him!

I found myself thinking about all these changes in me and so when I came across this metaphor by a psychologist on emotions and logic, it really hit me. He relates logic to a person riding an elephant and that the elephant is our emotions. Initially the person decides on the direction, but unless the elephant and person's ideas are aligned the elephant will win each time as he has a 6 ton advantage! I thought that was a nice way of thinking of our own logical and emotional sides. if elephants are emotions, then love is the largest elephant of all!

Love is the biggest mystery... Why is the hurt and pain so unbearable and the happiness ecstatic, when it is related to the one you love? how is it that two people fall in love and decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and how is it that all the wonderful feelings you get with racing heart beats thinking of the one you love is reciprocated from that person... How do you find that one person in this world of billions of people? That person that makes your heart sing, who;s name makes you smile, and who makes you feel alive?

Some believe that love is due to an irresistible cocktail of chemicals in order to ensure the survival of human kind. That we're merely happy victims of nature’s lovely plan... But I do not believe that is the case, since if love was only to ensure that human kind continued then what's the point of lasting love, after the children are grown and the survival of humans is ensured? Why do we stay with the same partner? What about the love of parents towards their children and the love of children toward their parents. In that case, we would love each other, just long enough so that the children are independent and then go on our separate ways...but we don;t humans create lasting bonds, and still even today when divorce is becoming more and more common, there still are many who live their whole lives together in love... So I believe that love is Mystery... Love is Gods gift to us so that we may experience him through loving each other...

Good, Truth, and Usefullness

2009-12-13T11:23:00.002+01:00

These days I'm back in Sri Lanka for a 5 week vacation. The feeling of freedom I have thesedays is amazing, I'm spending so much time with friends and family. It;s lovely to be able to chat without looking at watches and thinking of what to do next but just to be able to live in the moment and value the time spent with people the people I love

Another thing that I was thinking of as I chat was how we sometimes seem to have this bad habit of trying to gossip or find fault with others. This reminded me of the famous saying by Socrates.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."
"Test of Three?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
No," the man said, "actually I just heard about It."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

I don't know if it's really something Socrates said or a rumor, but it really spoke to me, and I thought specially during this Christmas Season and for the New Year I will try to think if what I say is True, Good or Useful before talking about others.

Making it up as we go along

2009-11-27T17:28:00.002+01:00

As you might be able to see already I'm one of those self improvement geeks, who used to buy loads of books. I read all the famous ones frm 'Emotional Intelligence' to '7 habits of effective people', to 'Men are form mars and women are frm venus' to 'Why men lie and women cry' to 'Blink' and the list is endless...

But now I think life the best teacher, and observing and learning from others teaches you much more that what you can read... most things have to be lived and experienced not just read about, It's like trying to learn to ride a bike or swim by reading a book, ofcourse books can help in getting you ready, but in the end you have to jump in and 'live life'.

Though I still consider myself a book worm I'm more careful when reading these ‘advice’ and ‘how to improve your life’ kind of books, yes they can be good in giving you ideas and for certain things, will give you expert advice which can be useful, but each person is different, and what makes each of us happy and successful is also different. I don’t think that there is a perfect formula that will work for everyone... We just have to make up as we go along...

Tech or no tech, that is the question...

2009-11-27T17:27:00.011+01:00

Thesedays I've just been wondering if we are too dependant on technology and science. Don't get me wrong, I'm a techy who loves most of the gadgets and new technologies, especially related to communication... where would I be without msn and Skype, and miles away from my friends and family?

I just got thinking recently when there was a power cut in my appartment, and I got into a total panic as everything here works on electricity, from the cooker, to kettle to washing machine to heater to fridge, and ofcourse all entertainment, computer and lights! I was in pitch darkness in the cold and my phone was beaping cos it was low on charge, and i knew if i made a call at that moment it would die! So I finally went over to a friends place, and called the electicity emergency line and got it sorted, but till they came and fixed it I didn;t know what to do... I was so dependant on electricity, and I thought about home and how we used to have power cuts, but the effect was not as bad, as we had gas cookers, kettles, candles and entertainment was actually talking to my family...

So then I started to wonder about how we're becoming more and more dependant on technology and was just thinking if an Alien wanted to take over the earth the easiest way would be to cut the power and we'd all be helpless! (except for the natives in the forests who continue to live close to nature!)... Ofcourse I'm so glad for all these appliences, after all being on my own and working full time, it would have been practically impossible to survive without the microwave, and washing machine, and all the modern appliances, but are we letting them take over? And what do we do with all the extra time that we accumulate thanks to all our appliances?... I'm also finding tech is making us lose the human touch, as most of the time we can do everything from banking to shopping online... Though I myself am a part techy and like gadgets, I think we really need to make sure that we don't become slaves of tech, and also continue to keep those relationships alive with the human touch, it scares me that otherwise we also might turn into robots just going through life...

This is when I know I'm growing old, I'm already starting to write about 'in my day...' stories!

Learning to let go

2009-11-15T18:22:00.006+01:00

Just a couple of days ago I attended a presentation skills workshop, where one of the things we were talking about was 'Learn to let go...' In this context the instructor was talking about how we have the tendency of trying to put everything we know into a presentation, and how we should learn to let go, and only include the most important information for maximum impact.

This got me thinking about other aspects of life as well, I think most of us have this tendency to hang on to things, whether it's while doing a presentation, or writing, or keeping old unused appliances in the house (this I noticed last year when we moved home looking at all the useless things that we had accumulated over the years) or things we do in our everyday lives... I think we do this out of fear that what we 'let go' of, might later prove to be critical or due to fear of change...the infomation that we didn't give might be the deal breaker; the old appliance that we threw away may become useful later on; or the daily practice that we didn't do might affect our lives.

I think this is one of the reasons we seem to be in this state of 'constant busyness'. We have all these new technological advances, and household appliances to save time, but somehow we still seem to be as busy as ever. At work we have the latest computers and softwares to make life easier and even when organisations grow, work never seems to become easier or less... maybe due to our habit of always doing everything and not deligating, not prioratising and due to the culture of 'if you work over time you must be working hard and if you leave on time, you're not doing a proper job (even though the person who stays till late might well be doing personal things!)... I think it's also due to this misconception that being busy makes you important, but chatting with friends, or reading, or taking longs walks are a waste of time... What we never seem to ask ourselves is 'what are we so busy with?' It's the famous Parkinsons Rule at play 'Work expands to fill the time available for its completion' So we can either be constantly busy or decide that we complete the work the best we can and get on with other things in life...

I think coming from a rather conformist society where everything usually is done a certain way and not sticking to that would deem that there's something wrong with you, I too had this 'rat race' always busy mentality... but then I've met many people who have successful careers, families and still manage to find time to read or write or travel and see the world.

Ofcourse I'm not saying that everyone who's busy is because they are creating work, we all go through times when we can be overwhelmed with work or life, but oftentimes we also create our own busyness...

Now little by little I'm analysing what I do, and try to reason, why it's important, and learning to let go of things that are not necessary, and finding myself with so much more time to read and go on long walks, and literally stop to smell the roses.

I am who I am

2009-11-03T15:15:00.000+01:00

As I was going through our Judge Business School news I came across this article ‘these bodies are beautiful at every size’ regarding glamour magazine starting to work with all types of models in all shapes, sizes and colors. This link was in our JBS news as an alum who is studying for his phd on ‘how women in the US, Canada and the UK respond to advertising images’ was also quoted in the article. He also runs a modeling agency for women of all shapes and sizes. http://www.benbarry.com/ I really like the tag line ‘every woman is a real woman’.

I’m very glad to hear about all these initiatives, as I think one of the biggest issues almost all of us have is this body image issue… and only seeing perfect airbrushed women on magazines and TV doesn’t help in self confidence… so I think seeing more and more campaigns with real women would help boost the self image of everyone…

After all we all age, and beauty is a temporary thing, so I think its important not to base our whole self worth on it... This also reminded me of the famous book Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wild about the hansom youth who gets a portrait of himself painted and sells his soul in order to look like the picture forever, young and hansom, while the painting withered and aged… so as time went by and he lived a sinful life his picture got more and more disfigured, but his face remained perfect… In the end, Dorian decides to kill his sins and his past by destroying the portrait, but in doing so he kills himself instead.

Ofcourse I think we should all try to look our best, men and women both, and make the most of what we have and be healthy, but there are certain attributes that cannot be changed such as height, body shape, colour and so on… so we just have to learn to be happy with what we have and who we are… that’s true self confidence…. To be able to go out into the world saying ‘I am who I am’ with your head held high…

Circle of Life

2009-10-18T16:06:00.007+02:00

After over a year away, I decided to visit my second (now my third!) home Cambridge, to catch up my old friends last weekend. I found the experience very different when going back on a vacation while earning compared to the starving student experience! It was wonderful meeting my old friends who were still in Cambridge, some continuing their phds while others working. Just thought of including a few pics here.

I even managed to squeeze in a performance of the Lion King at the west end during very short visit of 4 days (next time it will be atleast a week!). The Lion King was simply amazing (or brilliant as the Brits say). I loved the costumes the music, the singing and the dancing! From a distance, you could barely see the people acting, but the animals, and their movement was so graceful and fluid it really felt like being in a jungle. This is a clip of one of my favorite songs, you can see the way they have depicted the animals, they look real! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utq8oft7btQ&NR=1

I also loved the theme of Circle of Life… How we are all part of the one circle of life, and how we have to take care of each other in order to take care of ourselves…King Mufasa, gives his son some really good advice “Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.”

I guess if we humans respected and lived according to this advice from the beginning we wouldn’t be having Global Warming, or the fear of extinction of some animals, or fossil fuel shortages. I think that now it’s time to respect the nature and remember that we’re all part of a delicate balance. Of course we need to use energy and fuels, and water, and all other resources, but what’s important is to use them sustainably, and to avoid wastage, and hopefully our children will still have a world to live in… This reminded me of the famous letter by Chief Seattle and would like to finish this post with his words…

This we know: The earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood which unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

Speak Up!

2009-10-03T18:40:00.011+02:00

According to many studies, the one thing that is feared more than death is ‘Public Speaking’! I can say that it was true for me for a very long time, and is something I have been working on getting over for many years now... when I say public speaking I don’t fear prepared presentations or even acting, as long as it has been prepared and practiced… What freaks me out, is having to talk impromptu. Doesn't have to be at a large gathering, but even asking questions or giving my opinion in front of a group of strangers can be scarry... Scared that people will think that my question is stupid, scared that what I say was too obvious, scared of being laughed at…

While in SL both in school and uni, I didn’t feel this fear much, as people in general don’t ask questions or comment in lectures much. But it struck me hard in Cambridge, when everyone else was speaking over the others and I was too scared to say a word. You may remember one of my earlier posts ‘finding my voice’ one of the first steps towards getting over this fear.

I'm happy to say that I have come a long way since then...still speaking up in public is not second nature to me, but by forcing myself to speak at meetings, to speak up at gatherings when I have an opinion and by volunteering at improv, it has become easier.

Another thing I've noticed when I observe people at meetings and presentations is that often even the leaders the outspoken people still seem to have a fear of public speaking. Recently I was sitting very close to some of the main speakers at a meeting and I noticed, slight hand tremors (barely visible) when one of them was speaking, and I've observed similar instances with other speakers too…so maybe many self confidant people too have some apprehension and nervousness when speaking in public, not just me…so I've learnt the key is to speak in spite of the fear, not to let the fear paralyze you.

After all, if you were invited to a meeting or gathering, that was because your point counts, so you should not deprive others of that valuable input!

Return to Childhood

2009-09-20T21:51:00.014+02:00

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question I’ve heard many, many times as a kid. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been always planning for the future… Always thinking about moving to the next stage of life…from school to work and so on…

The search for a profession was mainly driven by practicality and society, not by dreams or what I would like to be, but more about, what type of job would be practical, what would help me earn enough money, give me recognition? Of course it’s essential that we’re practical after all, where would our dreams be if we were hungry or lacking basic necessities for life? At the same time it’s sad when we sacrifice all our dreams for practicality or simply to confirm with society, as work is where we spend more than half of our lives, so why do many people work in areas which they despise just for that money or security or ‘because that is what is expected of me’? Tell any child that you don’t like your job, and the child would give the most logical answer, “then change it!”.

From the time I could understand everyone around me have been saying you should be a doctor, or engineer like your father, or lawyer… there are a few professions that are respected and all children are expected to be one of them, whether the child is talented in this area or something completely different such as writing or painting. Many fields are ignored, including the Not-for-profit sector. Until I did my project at the Global Fund as part of my MBA, social services were simply something I like to do in my free time, not my career. After spending years in fields which I did not enjoy and where I didn’t feel that I was making the most of my potential, I think I’ve finally found an area that I like working in… Will I be in this field forever? I don’t really know, but I do know that I enjoy working in Not-for-profits and working for something greater than myself…

It’s funny now that I have ‘grown up’, I’m trying to explore my creativity and set my imagination free (much more difficult now, after stifling it for almost 30 years). I came across an intersting talk at TED conference which talks about how all children are born with creativity which is killed in a school system geared towards maths, sciences, languages and not geared for kids whose talents lie in arts, and thought of adding it here though its slightly out of topic http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html. I do feel that any creativity I might have had as a child disappeared in my adult years, and now I'm trying to learn it all over again.

Lately I've also learnt to appreciate nature, the mountains, the stars, and all the beauty around with wonder (everything I’ve ignored for so long, too caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle of life); to live in the present moment, having total trust in the higher power; to be more honest and genuine; to say what I mean, and mean what I say… just like a child... When I ‘grow up’ I want to return to my childhood…

I'll end this post with a lovely quote from CS Lewis "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

The return of the Absent Minded Professor

2009-09-20T20:02:00.005+02:00

I'm still laughing at myself, I can’t believe how forgetful i can be... Just as I was starting to congratulate myself for leaving my absent minded days behind me, the 'absent minded professor' struck again!...

Last Saturday was just another normal day, and as usual I took the garbage out after cooking lunch, and just as I went out and shut the door behind me, I realized that I forgotten my key! My apartment door locks as soon as the door is closed, so no key, no way of getting in, and I just stepped out, in what I was wearing at home, a pair of short shorts, sleeveless t-shirt and flip flops in which i had been cooking and cleaning the whole day (what a relief that it was not a cold day)! Now what? I have no phone, no money, nothing! It was just like in those funny comedies, where u lock yourself out in your pajamas but it wasn't a comedy, it was my life!

Anyway I had my extra key in office (just for times like these), but the problem was that I didn’t have the badge to get into office, and being a holiday there would be no one at reception, but as there was nothing else I could do (I already tried the concierge who was also out), I decided to go to my office and try my luck. At the entrance there were two guards. The first guard saw me from inside and looked suspicious, would have wondered what possibly this lady in shorts could be wanting! When he came out, I tried to explain in my broken French, about how I was locked out from my flat and that my extra key was in my desk. He didn't even smile, just said that we can't let you in if you have no badge! So I tried to explain, that the reason I had no badge was because everything was in my flat and that I could not get inside, then the other younger security appeared, he spoke English and looked sympathetic to my situation after I gave him my totally innocent lost look (well didn’t really have to act, I was!) and explained everything. I could see he wanted to help but the senior guard still said 'no'...

So just as i thought maybe I’ll have to barge into a friends place, stay overnight and go to work the next day and get the key, someone appeared from inside the office and I told him my problem and asked him if he would help me, but he was not from my office either but was visiting someone, so didn’t have a badge, but called his friend inside, who came down and showed his badge to security and let me in!

What a day! I finally got my extra key and was smiling all the way home, it just felt like I was in one of those funny TV programmes! Only thing missing was a ticket checker in the tram, as though I did have a season ticket for the month, it was also of course at home (thankfully none appeared)!

So at the end of the day I learnt, to always have a plan 'B' (I promptly replaced my key at office, would have been a much bigger disaster if I didn't have that extra key!), always check for the key when closing the door, and of course I learnt to laugh at myself, it always helps :)... Till next time I get absent minded and forget something again...

Are we humans really 'humane'?

2009-09-11T17:34:00.002+02:00

Recently I watched the 'Reader' that got me thinking, it was so unbelievable how a seemingly 'nice' lady could have sent so many jews to their death, even if she wasn;t teh leader, just the fact that she admitted that they didn;t unlock the burning church with 200 jews, simply cos they didn;t want to free the prisoners. It was as if the orders she had received had taken over her conscience... and how many more were out there? not just the Nazis but also the discriminations against blacks, the genocides and all the other wars that rise out of either trying to lay claim to some piece of earth, or over the colour of the skin... why can;t we all live together, why do we all want to be superior, to have more than the others? What is in us that makes us want more than the other?

What could have caused, normal human beings to be so heartless? This also reminded me of the famous Milgram experiment where an experiment was conducted, with participants told that they are taking part in a memory experiment and that they are the 'teacher' and they must work with a 'student' in another room, whom they can hear but not see. The participants are told that they have to ask questions from the 'student' and for each wrong answer give an electric shock to the 'student' (this student is an actor and doesn;t really get the shock, but the participant believes that he does). In conclusion, most participants had continued to gve electric shocks higher and higher, even when they heard screams from the 'student' just because they were told to. More details can be found here here

That really freaked me out, would it be possible that I could do a similar thing, where I would harm another, simply cos I was told to by an 'authority'? I really hope not! that;s just a very scary thought, that so many normal people had just done what the 'authority' asked without ever questioning whether they should, without really listening to their concience...

Humans are such a complex group... sometimes i think that the wild animals are less 'wild' and more 'humane' than the humans themselves, after all even the vicious animals like lions and tigers kill for food, not because they didnl;t like the stripes of the zebra or any such silly reason like that! So i'll finish the post with one of my fav songs the Animal Song Animal Song

"Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide
I wanna live like Animals careless and free..."

Arts or Sciences?

2009-09-01T18:00:00.002+02:00

Being someone, who’s an engineer background, but realizing that I like the arts more and more, from singing, to acting to writing (not sure if I’m much good at these things, but I love them all the same :) ) I have sometimes wondered about it… specially about whether it was a right choice to give up engineering (I do use the analytical skills we learnt in engineering, but nothing technical), or whether I should have studies the Classics or Theatre… Sometimes, I feel a bit of a misfit not in either side…

But then I think, they are both essential for human existence.

Music, paintings, writing, acting are all very subjective disciplines, they sometimes give you a glimpse into the soul of the author…and can be perceived as either good or bad. I guess what brings joy to the creator of arts is knowing that what they have created can bring joy, or enlightenment or be thought provoking or ofcourse they could also influence violence, specially art forms such as Cinema…at the same time, they could easily go unnoticed…I think the biggest fear of any kind of creator of the art forms…
Sciences, can be more predictable the laws of physics are laws, but again the discoveries are nothing, if they cannot be utilized to improve human existence (or sometimes to destroy). Looking at all inventions and discoveries, where would we be without them? From computers, to television, to internet, to electricity. I guess it’s a mix of creativity and knowledge of the sciences.

In the older times, inventors were also artists or musicians, like Da Vinci, whose one of the most famous artists of all time, and at the same time, was an inventor and mathematician...so why don’t we have people like that anymore, most people are very much more focused into one area... is it the school systems that kill creativity? I was thinking of the same thing when reading the ‘little Price’ where he talks about how he liked to draw but since the ‘adults did not understand his unusual drawings, he just stopped completely, often when kids try new things, or different things, like colouring a tree red, you’d always have someone saying, but that is not in real life… so what? Look at most people who do become famous, they are those who go against the grain, for what they believe in. Ofcourse when I say go against the grain, you also have to think of morality, and that you are not harming yourself or others by doing so…

I will end this post with a lovely quote by Buckminster Fuller

"All children are born geniuses;9,999 out of every 10,000 are swiftly,inadvertently, degeniusized by grownups.”

Starry Starry Night 2...

2009-08-22T16:06:00.012+02:00

Starry starry night...
paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now...

This post is not a continuation of my previous Starry night post on Van Gogh, actually it's very different topic...

Since a couple of weeks ago, i have started hiking with a group of my colleagues from work every Thursday night after work. It's wonderful, cos the mountains are so close to Geneva, and we go there and hike for about 3hrs.

This week we headed out to Col de Marchairuz part of the Jura mountains. I was so impressed with the hike that I had to blog about it. We started during daylight hrs and climbed upto a peak by which time it was already dark, and we had wine and cheese under the stars it was so lovely...We also had two Border Collies in the group, who seemed to see us like a flock of sheep. It was hilarious, these two dogs kept, going to the front and back of the group to flock us together, pushing the people at the back to move faster!

But even with them, one of my friends and i still managed to get lost! Well not really lost, cos the paths are very clear, just stuck behind, cos we were so impressed with nature and what we saw. There were coloured wild mushrooms, and interesting looking bugs, wild berries, and it was very dark skies full of stars, so we kept stopping to admire nature, and the funny creatures that appeared in front of our flashlights on the way back! We even saw the milky way (or we think we did) which is why i put a pic of the milky way, and were singing 'starry starry night'... No moonlight, city lights or headlights, so we had a wonderful view of the night skies. It was lovely feeling lost in the wilderness, and i was reminded of the famous essay topic that we had to write when we were small, 'I got lost in the jungle'... We were so awe inspired we were actually discussing the meaning of our existance, and the possibility of aliens out there, among the many many stars! How often do you do that with your colleagues? Ofcourse we didn't figure it out...

I was just thinking that i really should make this a more regular outing, atleast when the weather is good, cos it seems that we have lost touch with nature. We are so 'busy' at work, at home, even our form of entertainment is usually technology related like TV. It's nice to get away from it all, during the week, and admire the wonderful nature around us, felt like a kid all over again...

Feedback Control

2009-08-16T17:59:00.007+02:00

I’ve been thinking these days, about how we tend to define ourselves and what and who we are and how we should act expecting that it would bring us and others around us happiness (I guess if we try to summarize everything that we want to do and be, from success to family to love, in the end we’re all looking for happiness…true happiness which is not brought by riches or material things, but which is a state of mind, and I think all we do is to achieve that happiness in the end). This brought the analogy of feed back control to my mind (that’s the techy in me :) )…

‘Feedback control is a control mechanism that uses information from measurements to manipulate a variable to achieve the desired result. In feedback control, the variable being controlled is measured and compared with a target value. This difference between the actual and desired value is called the error. Feedback control manipulates an input to the system to minimize this error’ as per Wikipedia.

So comparing with that analogy initially we define ourselves, and think this is how we should be and act at certain situations (input), in order to achieve the desired result of ‘happiness’. But then sometimes, we suddenly come to contact with a completely different point of view or, see that what we thought all along, may not be right, that we will not achieve that ‘desired result’ if we continue in this way, then we have a tendency to overcorrect our ideas and our behaviors in the opposite direction, and go in that way... Just thinking about myself, I can see instances there I think that society or the world is so wrong, that I think I should be or do something in the total opposite way just to balance it.

The major difference between Feedback control and us though, is that we don’t always measure, or question our ideas, and go on in one direction, thinking that it is correct, until something awakens us up and makes us question about our view of the world and our selves.

It just reminded me to actually question myself and see whether I am going in the correct direction... Especially when we grow older, we tend to get set in our ways and stop questioning ourselves or looking at ourselves critically… this analogy just brought me back to remind me that we should always be learning, from life and from each other…

I think we should move like the damped oscillations in the diagram (for the nerds like me :) ) and keep swinging in the two directions, correcting ourselves, and learning along the way till we reach the ‘happy medium and ultimately, our desired result… :) ) Unless ofcourse if we could actually reach the desired result right away without all the oscillations (I guess Saints must be like that), but then that's not me...

The Little Prince

2009-08-10T18:54:00.004+02:00

I never thought that a tiny children’s book could have this effect on me. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry was a book that was recommended by a colleague as a lovely children;s story but it has some very interesting observations about human nature.

It is about the lovely innocent world of little children, and how we forget all that imagination, the dreaming, the wonder that you have when you see a star, as we grow older and start thinking of “matters of consequence” as the book puts it…

Just made me think for a while, so what are all these matters of consequence? I guess this was what Jesus Christ meant when he said that you must be like a child to enter the kingdom of God, the simplicity, honesty, satisfaction with the small things, though we have all these fancy toys, most kids would be happy just playing outside with flowers or watching butterflies or birds… We’ve forgotten to see with the heart.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“The men where you live,” said the little prince, “raise five thousand roses in the same garden– and they do not find in it what they are looking for.”
“And yet what they are looking for could be found in one single rose, or in a little water.”
“But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart. . . ”

There were some other lovely quotes from the book.

"When you tell grown-ups that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead, they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.
If you were to say to the grown-ups: “I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof,” they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them: “I saw a house that cost $20,000.” Then they would exclaim: “Oh, what a pretty house that is!”

"They are like that. One must not hold it against them. Children shouldalways show great forbearance toward grown-up people. But certainly, for us who understand life, figures are a matter of indifference."
This is sad but true, when it comes to value we often try to put a number on it. And the things are measured on how much they cost…

“I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never loved any one. He has never done anything in his life but add up figures. And all day he says over and over, just like you: ’I am busy with matters of consequence!’ And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man– he is a mushroom!”
How many people like this do you know? Well I was like that myself, you sometimes, keep working hard, morning, noon, night, come home late and happy that you did a lot of work, but is that life? People sometimes say stop wasting your time chatting or fooling around, and do some useful work, but I now come to think of it… the time you “waste” is the time you spend making friends, discovering and so on, so hey can you say it’s a waste of time.

Some more food for thought…
“And what good does it do you to own the stars?”
“It does me the good of making me rich.”
“And what good does it do you to be rich?”
“It makes it possible for me to buy more stars, if any are ever discovered.”
“How is it possible for one to own the stars?”
“To whom do they belong?” the businessman retorted, peevishly.
“I don’t know. To nobody.”
“Then they belong to me, because I was the first person to think of it.”
“Is that all that is necessary?”
“Certainly. When you find a diamond that belongs to nobody, it is yours.
When you discover an island that belongs to nobody, it is yours. When you get an idea before any one else, you take out a patent on it: it is yours. So with me:
I own the stars, because nobody else before me ever thought of owning them.”
“Yes, that is true,” said the little prince. “And what do you do with them?”
“I administer them,” replied the businessman. “I count them and recount them. It is difficult. But I am a man who is naturally interested in matters of
consequence.”

It ended with some lovely lines, which I thought how romantic…when the 2 friends part…
"All men have the stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all these stars are silent. You– you alone– will have the stars as no one else has them–”
“In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night. . . you– only you– will have stars that can laugh!”

Loneliness...

2009-08-02T16:49:00.003+02:00

Since the day I came here, I kept thinking of Switzerland as the fairy tale country... But today I realised that everyones lives aren't always fairy tales here either.

Just this morning, while waiting for a bus I met this old gent (must have been around 80 years old), I smiled, and he started to talk to me, saying Bonjour and Ca Va, I said Oui Ca Va and he asked me about where I was going, I told him where, and then he asked me if I would like to have a coffee in a near by cafe with him, which took me by surprise, and I said 'no thank you' partly worried about missing my bus. Imagine how lonely he must have been to invite a perfect stranger, less than half his age, who could barely speak his language (I asked if he spoke English and he said no, so i continued the conversation in broken French) for a coffee. Later I wondered what if I just had the coffee with him and got a few mins late, I;m sure that would have brightened his day...but then I didn;t, and he thanked me for the chat and went on his way.

I guess one difference in our cultures is that the old are usually well respected and cared for by their children, but here most are living alone with their dogs to keep them company. As they say 'No man was built as an island to wonder through life alone'. It must be difficult to live alone specially after retirement, when you don;t meet many people, just living from one day to the next, knowing that the best days of your life are gone. I guess loneliness might be one of the sadest feelings, even poverty might sometimes be better, than feeling alone and unloved.

Later I was wondering what his story was, maybe I would have found out, had i joined the coffee...Maybe next time...

Just say 'Yes'!

2009-07-22T19:23:00.001+02:00

After a long absence I finally started my Improv classes at CERN again, I had mentioned starting them last year, but have not been attending them for the last couple of months, cos first my parents were here, and then I had to move to a new flat and was extremely busy.

But yesterday I decided that I should go even though I was a bit stressed at work…or maybe because of it, cos improv gives me the chance to behave like a kid again! J

For those not familiar with improv, this link shows the kind of crazy things we do! Freeze is one of our favorite games that we play and it’s a load of fun!

The main concept of making improv work is ‘Just say yes!’ so no matter what your partner says, you should say yes and play along with the idea, and build it rather than arguing cos it’s funniest when you build the scene together rather than trying to break down the other person’s ideas, or bring other ideas cos then it doesn’t make a coherent story. This can be more difficult than it appears, simply cos usually as we start the scene we have already made this 3 act opera (as our instructor put it) in our head, and then if the other person does not do what we expect them to, we have the bad tendency of wanting to stick to our own initial idea, rather than validating the new one. Cos if one person says no and brings a new idea, then the second person would not want to agree with it and will continue with the initial idea, and in the end there is no story, so the improv does not work. I guess you could call it a team sport (the only one that I can play J) If you watch the video closely you can see how each person keeps saying yes even to the most ridiculous ideas, and it just makes it really funny.

I was just thinking that this is also very relevant to everyday life. Even in conversations, sometimes we have the bad habit of wanting to get our own thoughts and ideas, rather than listening to the other person. Saying ‘Yes’ to another persons ideas and listening can really show that we are interested in the other person and is a great way of building relationships! The other thing you can learn from improv is to listen without judging, cos everyone’s ideas are important, and that;s something that is very important in life cos when we listen without judging it helps the other person to be creative and expore an idea without being fearful of being ridiculed.

So as Kevin Hogan put it in his book 8 barriers to communication “People that don’t give us a chance, an opportunity to share and express ourselves, to be US, put out our spark, our flame. It is this spark, our spirit, this fire, this waterfall within us all that drives us, which makes us whole. This constant, ever changing flow of energy is what makes us, US. why not allow yourself to truly listen. Not just hear someone speak, but focus on listening to them, be in their shoes when they talk, see the world through their eyes, experience life from someone else’s point of view instead of being compelled to express your own.”

Temptation

2009-07-19T20:40:00.004+02:00

I just finished reading the 'Temptation' by Douglas Kennedy about a screen writer who becomes famous and leaves his wife and kid for an actress and then everything falls apart for him as he;s accused of plagiarism... he finally gets it all back... Along the way there are many twists and a all powerful rich man trying to play 'God', and the writer falls in love with his wife. It was an interesting read.

The book ended with some food for thought...

"Daddy, she asked, 'can you tell the story without the big bad wolf?

I considered this for a moment, wondering how could I make it work:

'Let's see now.. there's a house made of straw. There's a house made of sticks. There's a house made of bricks. What happens next? Do they form, a residents' association? Sorry, sweetheart, the story doesn't really work without the Big Bad Wolf.'

Why doesn't it work? Because all stories are about crisis. Yours. Mine. The guy sitting opposite you on the train as you read this. Everything's narrative, after all. And all narrative - all storytelling - confronts a basic truth. We need crisis: the anguish, the longing, the sense of possibility, the fear of failure, the pining for the life we imagine ourselves wanting, the despair for the life we have. Crisis somehow let us believe that we are important; that everything isn't just of the moment; that, somehow, we can transcend insignificance. More than that, crisis makes us realize that, like it or not, we are always shadowed by the Big Bad Wolf. The danger that lurks behind everything. The danger we do to ourselves.

But who, ultimately, is the mastermind of our crisis? Who is the controlling hand? To some, it's God. To others, the state. Then again, it might be the person you want to blame for all your griefs, your husband, your mother, your boss. Or maybe - just maybe - it's yourself.

I guess sometimes we do seem to need drama 'good or bad' in our lives, or create it when it is non existent...which is unfortunately why most people aren't happy... there;s always that thing in the horizon that we would like to have and with which things would be perfect...so most of the time are unable to live in and enjoy the present moment... I guess i;m telling myself this while writing this...and the marketing campaigns and the commercials use this side of our human nature to their advantage, telling us how our lives will be perfect with that new car or luxury watch or other material thing, and we fall for them...

Sometimes feels like i;m living from one goal to another, waiting for something...but what happens after obtaining that goal? start waiting for something else?... So again I;m reminding my self that I should try to take one day at a time and enjoy and live in the moment...Have to keep reminding myself to enjoy the journey, cos happiness is the journey and not the destination!

Small things in Life...

2009-06-27T14:50:00.005+02:00

Was feeling a bit down partly missing my parents who left last weekend after visiting me here for a couple of months, and also stressed out cos these days I am in the process of moving to a new flat and right now my whole body is aching cos I moved most of my things to the new place last evening after work. I am also cleaning the existing flat to make it spotless... and at work my biggest project is about to be released...

Anyway on the way home after going for a walk just to clear my mind i started humming 'What a wonderful world' to myself as I was looking at the trees of green, and the lovely flowers in bloom cos it's summer, and as usual smiled at this old man walking his cute dog (there are many kindly old people here in Geneva walking all sorts of dogs and who usually smile back and say 'Bonjour!' I guess cos in this culture children grow up and leave their parents very early in life and so the parents just take a dog for company).

This time he smiled back and said "Vous chantez bien!" I was taken aback, and at first didn;t understand what he said (my French is slowly improving, but still it takes a while to understand when someone speaks fast), so I replied "Pardon?" to which he said "Vous avez une belle voix" [you have a beautiful voice!] Oh then i realised he had just heard me humming, I didn;t think anyone could have heard it... It was funny how the unexpected complement from a stranger just made me smile and brightened my day.

That;s when I started to think how the small things in life can make a difference. Sometimes we wait to do big gestures of kindness, and say I'll feed the poor when i am much richer or I'll show appreciation to my parents after I can afford to give them a house or treat my husband or wife when i have enough money to take them on a trip around Europe and so on and so on, but the fact is, it;s the little things that often matter, things that can be done here and now, not when i have more time or money... cos that day 'when I have more time or more money' never really comes cos it's always relative. It's like the sign that says 'free beers tomorrow', and tomorrow never comes! So I decided to try to be nice to people even in small ways... who knows maybe the little act of kindness you show a stranger just might brighten their day!

I can see clearly now…

2009-06-11T13:47:00.001+02:00

It’s amazing, after over 15 years of wearing glasses, I was finally able to bid ‘Adieu’ to them. I just got the LASIK (laser-assisted in situ keratomileusis) surgery done. It is a type of refractive surgery for correcting myopia or shortsightedness.

Basically what they do is open a flap from the cornea and then laser the cornea to remodel it and replace the flap, this diagram shows the basic steps of LASIK, I know it sounds really scary, and to be honest I was really anxious about it, cos after all it is the eyes and what do you do, if something goes wrong???? But after much consideration and research I finally decided to go ahead with it. You can read more about it on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LASIK

It was pretty strange, the whole thing was done in about 30mins (15min per eye including all preparations) They just put some anesthetic eye drops to freeze the eye before performing it, and it was so strange, cos I could see and feel and hear throughout and it was weird seeing equipment coming at your eyes initially but later I could only see the light, and it was not painful at all, just a bit funny cos I felt pressure on the eyes. Though my sight was blurry soon after the operation, I went home and had a nap of a couple of hours as they suggested, and when I woke up, it was like a miracle, I could see clearly!

What was funniest was the surgery discussions! The doc and nurses were talking about Shrek while lasering the eye! And one nurse said that she liked Donkey and doc laughed and told me ‘we like to keep the atmosphere light’ and I told him that I liked donkey too, to which the doc responded by saying in that case he will stop himself from saying something rude thing about Donkey! It was just hilarious thinking back!

These days (for first 2 weeks) I have to be a bit careful till the eyes completely recover and so have to wear these funny ‘Mad Scientist about to conduct a major chemical experiment’ like protective glasses, or Sun glasses if the light is too bright even inside, which a friend has started calling my ‘Stevie Wonder’ look and at night like a Fly with 2 funny bulging flaps on the eyes!

But other than that, everything is great! It’s wonderful waking up in the morning and being able to see without having to reach for the glasses (even the initial discomfort I felt seems to be gone)… I;m still getting used to seeing with my own eyes, sometimes when I go home after work, I think of taking off the contacts.

It’s a lot of small things, which I;m sure someone who has never had problems with sight wouldn’t have even noticed, like now I can sit at a comfortable distance from the computer, unlike before when I used to sit with my nose almost touching the screen when I was not wearing the contacts or glasses! And when I look out from the window near my desk I can see the mountains in the distance clearly.

It’s going to be great to go swimming next time cos I will actually be able to see from a distance and reduce the risk of bumping into people or having to suddenly move away after seeing someone come at you too late!

I still can’t believe it’s real! It’s amazing!

Is this real the end?

2009-05-26T18:43:00.002+02:00

Sri Lanka without war… is that possible? I still can't believe that the war in Sri Lanka agaist the LTTE Terrorists which has been around for as long as I remember is over... I can't imagine Sri Lanka without the fear of bombs. Just before I came to Switzerland there were 2 to 3 bombs going off in the cities in buses and trains and places where the public gather and when i went to work i would not know whether I would come home alive. I guess this too was a major motivator for me to leave the country. It came to a point when another bomb goes off and we just call family and friends to make sure that they are all ok, and get on with life... but at the same time i guess it;s survival instinct too, cos if we were to worry every time a bomb went off we would go crazy.

A few days ago a couple of my Sri Lankan colleagues and I met up for coffee with one of our Indian guys after hearing that the government had gained control over the whole country and defeated the rebels. My Indian colleague was totally against the LTTE Terrorists as they murdered Rajiv Gandhi and according to him, India would be much more ahead in the world, were his life not brought to such an untimely end. I would not call it celebration though, cos it ended up us talking about our war related experiences in SL. One lady who’s brother had been an army officer spoke of how he had died in the war and what their family had gone through, she was also saying that for the first time she felt that her brother did not die in vain…another Doctor working with me at the Global Fund was talking about his experiences as the Army doctor and some really sad stories about soldiers never getting to see their kids and how the 2 years as an army doctor really changed his life, and we were all thinking about the possibility of peace for the first time …we were talking about all those brave men who died saving the country…these are people who love the country more than themselves and i really don;t know what motivates them to die for a country, for people they don;t know, and who don't really care about them most of the time...

I;ve been so away from SL and these experiences for a while I think it’s still sinking in…I see all the people in the IDP camps and I can;t imagine what life must be for them. I was watching news and how these people seemed to be reduced to numbers and statistics... do we ever see them as real people with thoughts and hopes and dreams and feelings? or just numbers? this is also something I wonder about in relation to my work, we talk about how many people on ARV, or on DOTS and so on, but do we ever really try to understand them or relate to them?

Recently I was taken aback when a colleague asked me "so what race are you? from the winning side or the losing side?" That just totally took me aback...but it;s not a war of Sinhala agaist Tamil, it;s a war of Sri Lanka agaist the LTTE terrorists...but that is when I realised that is how many people view the situation. This really got me thinking, the government may have taken control of the rebel held areas but can we say that the war is over really over? If we want ever lasting peace we need to have a change of attitude... this war started long ago due to the discrimination of Tamils and due to the actions of a few extremists... now is the time for all of us to put aside our differences and unite in rebuilding the country. I think we could really develop as a country if we could just learn to live in together in peace and treat each other equally.

Another problem I see in the way of peace between Sinhala and Tamil people is simply that we don;t understnd each other, we don't know each others languages...I'm embarassed to say that I barely know any Tamil, and now, living in Geneva know more French than Tamil. So I thought that I should learn Tamil myself. This was something I started to realise staying in Switzerland, there are 3 different nationalities French, German and Italian all living peacefully and they are all considered equals and most people can atleast speak one other language other than English.

As they say "evil exist when good ppl do nothing" so we can;t afford to turn a blind eye or just say that it;s the fault of our ansesters and there;s nothing we can do, 26 years of hurt and pain does not go overnight... One single person might not be able to change the attitudes of a whole nation, but I believe that each of us can help in bringing about peace, simply by treating each person we meet with respect and equality no matter what the ethinicity is and maybe we'll have touched a few lives and have changed a few attitudes simply by our actions...

Happy Birthday to me (a belated one!)

2009-05-13T18:33:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was my Birthday and it’s funny, I really don’t feel my age at all, most of my friends have ‘settled down’ and some even have kids, I sometimes still feel like one! I’ve even skipped on the road a couple of times like a little kid (I’m sure passer-bys would have thought I was crazy), but I really didn’t care!

I actually think that I am getting younger! If not by age and looks at least by heart! I feel much younger than a few years ago… I remember after uni when I was working I used to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and was part of the ‘rat race’, and used to get stressed regularly… since then I think I have learnt not to take things too seriously, now I try to do my best with things I can change, but at the same time I try to accept what I can’t. For example, I used to get stressed if the train gets late or something, now I just start listening to my mp3s and call my appointment to say I’m getting late, cos the train is not going to come any sooner, just cos I got stressed…it’s a lot of little things like that, but it makes a difference when u learn to let go. And I also think that I don’t worry as much as I used to about what others think, I try to do what is right, and not worry too much whether it was the ‘in’ thing to do.

I still do sometimes get a bit stressed over work and things, but have improved a lot… So my prayer for my new year on this planet is…

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

A friend asked me ‘so what have u done in the past 29 years?’ and then I started thinking about it… I guess I would like to think that I have made a positive difference in the lives of a people who I have come into contact with, and hopefully my work; especially in the not for profit sector has had some impact in someone’s life even in an indirect way…I’ve also learnt so many things about life and people…but as we all know, the more we learn, the more we realize how much more there is and how ignorant we are! It’s a life long occupation…

I must also say that I have truly been blessed in the past 29 years, I’ve got more that I ever dreamed of… and I know that my life could be someone else’s dream… I wonder what have I done to deserve all this? I guess the best way of thanking for it, is simply by trying to give back to others in any way I can…

Self Mirror

2009-04-30T16:57:00.004+02:00

This is a post which actually is a mix of a couple of older posts and some new ideas, and I wrote this for a journal, and just thought of posting it on my blog as well.

Something I've come to realize across the years (the few I've been on this planet) is that how others respond to you is a reflection of your own self image. This is a concept I like to call the 'Self Mirror'.

The more faith you have in yourself, others can see that confidence, and their belief in you and your capabilities increases. This in turn improves your own self esteem and has a cyclic effect helping to improve your capabilities. Of course the 'Self Mirror' works in the negative way as well. People can usually see through the mask, when you pretend to be someone else. Often when people see that you have an inferiority complex they treat you as inferior too.

When I say having confidence and faith in your self I don't mean acting Superior. I think acting Superior is simply another way that people handle their inferiority complexes. It's that deep-seated feeling of inferiority which makes people want to 'bring others down to their level'. In order to hide their own lack of self esteem they pick on someone they see is already feeling inferior, and augment those feelings of insecurity. By making someone else feel smaller, they try to boost their own self image. Which is why snobs are only snobs around people whom they see have an inferiority complex. In a way it is only with your own consent that a snob can be that way. This is something I realized as someone who had a strong inferiority complex growing up.

Looking back, I can see how others treated me has changed across the years from the time I was a painfully shy teenager to today where I can honestly say I'm happy with myself. I remember being 'invisible' growing up, and it was only after I started to accept myself that others started to have confidence in me as well. So now when people say I'm different, I say I'm Unique. People say this often cos I don't fall in to any of the typical stereotyped categories. My background is in Engineering but now I’m working in a Not-for-Profit Organization fighting agaist AIDS, TB and Malaria. I also love working with people and find human psychology very intriguing. At the same time I'm someone who loves performance theatre, and singing and dancing as well as adventurous experiences. When I'm with the 'techys' I'm a total extrovert where as compared to my out going drama friends, I'm the total introvert. As someone who experienced the whole spectrum from total introvert to extrovert (though the old feelings do come now and then) I know that once you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything.

I also remembered a beautiful saying by Nelson Mandela (originally from Marianne Williamson A Return to Love) and thought of finishing this post with these beautiful lines

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

It's Spring... What a wonderful world...

2009-04-18T16:33:00.012+02:00

Spring finally is here, and it's so beautiful, the trees are starting to have light green leaves and there are other trees with only flowers no leaves. The transformation of nature is amazing just a few months ago the parks covered in a sheet of white snow, and trees without leaves, has completely converted to become bright green, I can hardly believe that it is the same place... I think I feel the differences even more as I a tropical girl, who;s used to 365 days of summer, and though I do find the cold winters difficult, there is something lovely about the different seasons, the whole cycle of new life in Spring, then Summer, the leaves colouring and falling in Autumn and death of trees in Winter, which leads us back to Spring.

Last evening since the weather was great, i decided to walk home after work, coming home around 7.30pm and there was still day light and little birdies singing! I was walking home listening to my mp3s and even doing a little turn here and there while singing and walking (I'm sure anyone watching me might have thought i;m strange, but I didn;t mind)

I;m learning to appreciate the little things in life, the trees and flowers and even little bugs on the ground… sometimes I feel I;m going back in time and feel like a kid again. Matured as a person but child at heart and I was thinking to my self 'What a wonderful World'.

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

Ticking boxes…

2009-04-18T16:31:00.005+02:00

Recently our organization introduced this new Key Performance Indicator on Gender (Target to increase the recruitment of females) and it got me thinking… I’ve noticed that now in organizations there are these diversity boxes which if you fit into you can get in easily such as Female, or minority and so on, and that started me wondering will it encourage equality or just end up with less qualified people being hired as they tick the right boxes, in both work as well as for educational programmes?

For me personally its good cos I do tick the right ‘female’ box, but I wouldn’t want to be hired because of that, I would want to be hired cos of my achievements, because I actually am good at what I do… in a way does this devalue our worth? Would people assume that we’re hired cos of the ‘diversity’ factor and resent us, which might have the opposite effect such as deserved promotions being blocked, simply cos they resent the 'female' who they think got special treatment... It’s a difficult thing to figure, I;m currently working in an International Organization, but I hope that is because I am good at what I do and not cos I tick the right box...I have to admit, that here i have not felt any kind of discremenation at all, and work has been rewarding.

Don't get me wrong...I am completely against discrimination against women or minorities or against anyone for that matter (which is often the case especially in engineering, where I was not even considered for a position as I was a female and got to know about it from an internal contact) but at the same time, it sometimes feels like it’s going the other way… I guess maybe you need to give incentives initially to start ‘the ball rolling’ as they say to start receiving enough female/ minority candidates and at the same time to get rid of that whole ‘members only’ mentality where only people who fit in the a certain profile can do the job, but then it should be that women and minorities are hired not because they are a KPI but because they are capable and qualified and will do the job well. And also because diversity adds value by bringing in a different perspective and skill set...

I guess the other factor which would encourage more women in the work force specially in senior positions, is flexible working hours, or working from home, or having child care at the work place, as very often otherwise most women who are senior professionals end up doing that at the cost of their family and what’s the point of even having all the money or recognition in the world if that means that the family life has to suffer…

I think it should be in the interst of all concerned that both men and women have a successful family life as well as a career life. I know, I've completely gone out of topic, but I feel strongly about this, even though i am single now, it;s something, I've often wondered about, looking at friends. Why should career have to come at the expense of family? Won't we all be better off, including the organisations, if the employees had a better work life balance, and were happy, and so gave their 100% to work, rather than worry about what was going on at home, as they spend so little time there.

One good practice I see here is that people take their vacations very seriously. They take a couple of weeks off to spend with family on holidays, sometimes just take the time off to spend at home doing stuff together. Before I came here in all my jobs I had just accumulated my leave, never really taken it, cos it was not the practice, now ofcourse I take it all and go home to sunny Sri Lanka during winter. Plan to get used to this practice of taking time off, now and then. After all the organisation is not going to collapse cos you were not there!

Easter at Lourdes

2009-04-16T19:26:00.005+02:00

Thought of blogging again after a long period of silence, just don’t; seem to be in the mood to write much, maybe cos I’m just too happy these days(I’ve heard that you need some misery or sadness to be inspired!)…the reason, I think I’ll keep to my self for now

I thought of just writing about my lovely stay in Lourdes (it’s at the foot hills of the Pyrenees) France over Easter weekend, I guess it was more of a pilgrimage than tourism…

If you are not familiar with Lourdes and it’s significance, it is considered miraculous by many Catholics and is supposed to be one of the most highly visited pilgrim sights in the world. The Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to a 14 year old girl (poor and illiterate), St Bernadette. She had seen many such appearances and at one instance a spring appeared, which later became famous for the miraculous powers of the water. There have been many instances where people with incurable diseases, have drunk or washed themselves in this water and have been cured with no medical explanation. You can find out more about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Lourdes.

I visited Lourdes with my parents who are staying with me for 2 months, my cousin, and aunty (who also stayed for a week, so for one week my single bed room apartment was turned to one big slumber party with ppl sleeping all over the place, in sleeping bags and sofas!).

I had visited Lourdes with my parents when I was 2 years old, but I don’t remember it at all…It was a dream of my moms to go there again, and so I thought this was the perfect opportunity since I stay so close to France and it is possible to go the Lourdes in the over night train.

We also went to take a bath in the Lourdes water well and the ladies and gents go in separately, basically you have to remove your clothes and wear a cloth and get into the water. It was freeeeeeeezing! Luckily they said to say the prayers and make the petitions before getting into the water, cos as soon as I got in I was so frozen my brain stopped working! We also collected a lot of water to give to friends and family who had asked for it.

I also lit candles to pray for many people who had asked for prayers. I don’t know why but there is something about candles, and the light that has always attracted me. The light it spreads and how the tiny candle can dispel darkness...

Since we were there during holy week we went on a rather spiritual way of the cross, what I liked about it was that it was related to our everyday lives rather than repeating a set of prayers.

Lourdes is also a very pretty calm town, as you can see from the pics, and I just wish we had more time there but then I;m saving my leave for a long Christmas vacation home. It was a very slow life style and it was nice to get away from work for a while. One of the things I loved about Lourdes was that though it is a famous pilgrim site, it still had not lost it’s spiritual feel no vendors near the church and where the water is, and they don’t charge for people to go into the church unlike in some churches like St Pauls Cathedral London, where they charge for entrance, and I was once told to leave simply cos I was not going to stay for mass and it was a Sunday and they did not allow tourists! I told them that I was just there to pray which they accepted, but I couldn’t believe that a church should charge an entrance fee while the museums in uk were free!

We also went Nevers to see the body of St Bernadette which is still preserved with no decay, it was amazing, and I believe that many tests have been done, and no one can find an explanation for it, except that it’s a miracle. This is a picture of how the body is, it looks so peaceful and young. (This was not taken by me as it is forbidden to take pictures, I just found this online)

In Nevers which was a the convent St Bernadette later went to, what struck me most was that she was such a humble person, and her contribution to the world was simple service, which was why she joined the sisters of charity… I thought I’ll end this post with one of her quotes which I especially found beautiful. It’s amazing how God chooses the humblest among us to be his instruments, I guess it’s sometimes good to visit places such as these and realize what should be important in our world, not wealth and material things as media would have us believe, but love and serving others…

From here on earth, Love cannot live without suffering. It is through loving the cross that we discover His Heart, for divine Love never lives without suffering. I want my whole life to be inspired by love. He who loves, does all things easily, or, if he suffers, he suffers bravely. Why is suffering necessary? Because on earth, pure love cannot exist without suffering. O Jesus, Jesus, I no longer feel my cross when I think of yours!"
- Saint Bernadette Soubirous

Starry Starry Night

2009-03-07T21:28:00.007+01:00

Started writing this blog right after visiting the Van Gogh museum, Amsterdam, while sitting on a bench overlooking a canal watching a lone boat passing by... Saturday (7th March) morning just walking by the canals watching ducks on my way to the museum gave me a very tranquil feeling (picture below was taken on the way)... Could hardly believe that this was the same city I arrived in Friday(6th) night, which was so busy and crowded with people partying till the wee hours in the morning, and clubs and nyon signs at every turn. I came to Amsterdam just for the weekend (my new city for March). Visited the major museums like Van Gogh, and Rijksmuseum, walked around the city and of course checked out the red light district. I think Europe is turning me into a real Culture Vulture!

For a long time my favourite Van Gogh painting has been Starry Night (I don;t know whether i saw the painting or the heard the song first, have always loved the song Vincent by Don McLean too). I was really lucky when i visited the museum cos they were having the 'Van Gogh and the Colours of the Night' exhibition, and had got down the 'Starry Night' painting specially for this exhibition from the Museum of Modern Art, NY. They also had the 'Starry Night on the Rhone', which is another of my favourites... There is something about the deep rich blue sky and the bright stars... This exhibition was a celebration of his dusk and night time paintings and in Vincent Van Gogh's own words he had said "It often seems to me that night is much more alive and coloured than day having hues of the most intense violets, blues and greens."

Starry Night on the Rhone

Starry Night

I have always been fascinated by stars, what is it about night time that is so romantic? the stars and the moon? I guess when you stare into the night sky it all seems like a big mystery... what is out there, that feeling of anything is possible and feeling your insignificance in the grander scheme of things...

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-25T22:47:00.004+01:00

I just watched Slumdog Millionaire and I think this was one of those really classic movies after a long time... It is a story about a teenager who grew up in the slums of Mumbai about to win 20M in 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' and how he got there. (I will avoid talking much about the plot as I think you should all go see it!)...

It was sad but at the same time it was a story of love, hope and survival. I know that some critics say that the story line is highly improbable, but in a way it's like a fairy tale where it might not happen in real life just as it is, but is a story of how love will conquer all and of hope...
But at the same time it was also showing the life of slum dwellers, and beggars... what I've seen often in Sri Lanka... It also spoke of one of the issues I often have when I see beggars, cos I feel so sad, and want to give them money, but if I do, am I giving it to the poor girl or boy or to some enterprising rich man trying to profit from the misfortune of the poor... I guess the best thing might be to give food, or things that they can consume, rather than money... It is one of the difficult things for me to see the poor, I feel so blessed, yet there seems little I can do to help I can give food or money for one meal, but what happens after?

I'll end this post with the famous line 'if a man is hungry don;t give him a fish, teach him how to fish and he will be fed forever'. I really do admire those that put this into practice and start organisations to help the needy. I guess this is one of the reasons why I like working for the Not-for-Profit sector, as it feels that you're doing something for the 'greater good' even if in a small way.

French Snow!

2008-12-12T11:10:00.004+01:00

Last couple of months have been really busy and interesting, guess you could say I was too busy living my life to blog about it ;) I visited a few more cities in Europe including Rome and Naples, which were simply amazing! (will have to write a separate post on it). Now as I’m getting ready to go home for Christmas and I thought I’ll just do a small post before I leave cos I’m sure the next three weeks in Sri Lanka are going to be crazy, cos there are so many people to meet and catch up with.

I’m continuing to study French, my goal is to be able to carry out a conversation by the end of next year. I was just wondering about how it’s so much easier for children to learn a new language than it is for us, I guess it’s partly cos they are not ashamed to make mistakes. For me I always feel embarrassed to make a mistake or pronounce a word wrong, and so end up not even trying. Often I would just ask “Vous Parlez Angaise?” And with the world becoming more global and international most people will at least speak basic English or understand it and will say “un peu”. So usually it ends up me speaking in English and them in French and both trying to understand the other but me never speaking, so now, I’m trying to force myself to speak, cos I know that if I don’t do it now, living in a French speaking country, I never will...

It’s been snowing heavily during the whole week and it’s really beautiful, everything covered by a sheet of snow! These are a couple of pictures I took yesterday from office (we’re on the 8th floor) while a lot of my colleagues who are used to seeing the snow thought that I was crazy! This is highly unusual for Geneva at this time of year though. (OK it's not French snow, more like Swiss snow...)

This morning, I couldn’t help smiling while walking from the tram stop to my office as everything was so white and pretty and I loved watching the snow flakes fall, it gives the feeling of a new beginning…I literally just stopped in the middle of the road and tried to take it all in, the work of God's hand, more beautiful than any building or structure that could be made by man...

But I must admit, however much I find the snow pretty, I’m really looking forward to going home for a nice warm Christmas!

So if I don’t blog before Christmas again, just want to wish you all a Wonderful Christmas and New Year!

Weekend in Madrid

2008-10-31T15:45:00.005+01:00

I started writing this post on the flight to Madrid from Geneva last weekend… A couple of years ago who would have thought I’ll be flying to Spain for the weekend! For that matter, who would have thought I’d be living and working in Switzerland…
Those days to me, Switzerland was that far away beautiful country which was the holiday destination for the rich and the famous not for me… flying off to another country just for the weekend was unheard of …
This was my first time in Spain and it was amazing! It was one of the best weekends ever. (I know I keep saying this after most of my weekends but its true…) I loved the atmosphere, the culture, the busy streets and never seem to sleep. (when my friend and I walked on the streets past 1am it was still crowded!) The Museums (I visited the Prado Museum and the Reina Sofia Museum) and the architechture of the city was wonderful, I guess I miss that kind of culture sometimes in Geneva, since it has become so international now, that you don’t really see the Swiss lifestyle and culture here.

Here are some of the lovely pics of my weekend in Madrid

I was rather surprised to find out that Don Quixote was from Madrid, cos I had heard about the crazy story of how he tried to fight a wind mill, and it was so cool to find out the origins of stories that you had heard about as kids. Templo de Debod - Egyptian Temple dedicated to Gods Amon and Isis. One of the most beautiful sites in Madrid in the night.

I was very lucky, this festival only happens once a year in Madrid when all the farmers bring their sheep and bulls and parade them on the streets and I was there to see it.

Next Stop Rome in November…

Making Friends...

2008-09-27T14:02:00.007+02:00

As soon as I came to Switzerland I didn’t really know many people here and was very keen to make friends, especially as I came here alone without family. So I started going for many random events just to get to know people. But recently I found myself thinking… I’ve been so busy running around trying to get to know more people, but can I really call them friends, I often go to one of these events and talk to a number of people for a few minutes and often have forgotten even their names by the time I leave the party. I think that out of fear of being alone I have just gone to the other extreme, going for every event and party organised to make sure i meet new people, but not paying enough attention to the friends that I already have...

When we say 'How are you' do we even stick around for the response, do we really care how the other person is, or just asking mechanically? I recently found myself saying 'I'm good and you?' in response to 'Hi' that was when I started to think about how mechanical this has become!

To make real friends, you have to listen, pay attention and remember what the other person has said and build the relationship, so similar to improv... not just say something like a reflex action while thinking of many different things. Otherwise these friendships (can I even call them friendships) are on the surface and not deep, I've often wondered why I don't make the kind of close friends that i used to make at school, some of whom are still my best friends. .. I guess one major difference is that in those days we said what we mean and meant what we said…today we're so busy and we are often pre occupied...There's the TV, Radio, thinking of other things, we're bombarded with so much information...

So I decided that I should try to give more time and effort to my existing friendships, and really get to know the friends that I have made recently rather trying to meet so many new people, but not really know any of them.

Happiness is the journey, not the destination...

2008-09-21T17:38:00.004+02:00

I came across this verse by Alfred D. Souza about how happiness is the journey not the destination... It is so true, you can't keep on waiting for something to happen to be happy, but just enjoy the ride, with all the trials and tribulations. So I thought of sharing the verse.

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time … and remember that time waits for no one…
So stop waiting
until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring,
until summer,
until fall,
until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink,
until you've sobered up,
until you die,
until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy…
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Connection

2008-09-14T18:41:00.004+02:00

I'm just back from the 'Connection' Festival. It was a day of getting together with people of different Christian denominations in the Geneva/Nyon area, and celebrating what we have in common as well as the diverse ways we have of expressing our common beliefs.

It was nice to spend some time getting in touch with my Spiritual side...This was one of the areas of my life that I have been neglecting for sometime... I have been trying to work on developing my Physical and especially my Intellectual side trying to learn as much as I can from the people I meet and the new experiences I come across, but have not really thought much about the Spirit...

Most of the day was discussing about Hope, Faith and Love, and just thought of writing down some thoughts that came to my head...

One of the first things that I thought of, was a verse from the book that I just finished reading; 'The fifth mountain' by Paulo Coelho

"Souls too like plants need a different kind of rain: faith, hope, a reason to live. When this did not pass, everything in the soul died even if the body went on living, and the people could say, ‘here in this body there was once a man’."

When I read this I thought how true... What is life without Faith, Hope and of course Love? In my life I have see these people who's souls have died, even though they are physically alive, some due to poverty, distress and suffering who have lost all hope and others ironically who have too much money and have become so greedy that there's nothing else in their lives and they are always unsatisfied...This is one of the things that worries me about being successful, about earning too much, about being too comfortable and maybe starting to think that the purpose of life is just about material things and about pleasure...Especially when staying in a country like Switzerland, which sometimes feels like a fairy land to me with all the beauty, cleanliness and everything working on time...I want to make sure that I do not forget that there is suffering and pain in life...and that the purpose of life is not about having the best material things or having the most fun (not that it is all bad, as long as it is in moderation), but what's much more important are the relationships that you make and how your life impacts others...

Well I went off on a tangent but thought I'll close this post by going back to the original topic and giving two definitions of Love.

One of the speakers summed it up beautifully as "To see or seek that which is true, beautiful and noble in the life of another"

And one of my favourite passages from the Bible, which is the one written by St Paul on Love,

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. "

Wonderful weekend in the Swiss Mountains

2008-08-18T22:33:00.010+02:00

Last Friday I left Geneva with some lovely new friends that I met here, to spend a dream weekend in the town of Zermatt where the famous Matterhorn is located. I've been wanting to see Matterhorn even before coming to Switzerland, cos this was one mountain I had heard about as it was on the Toblerone chocolates (being the chocoholic I am!).

Felt like we were in the midst of the wilderness. Nothing but mountains, and trees and lakes for miles and miles…it was a wonderful feeling to be so close to nature... I guess one way of worshipping God is to appreciate all the wonders of the work of his hand!

These are some of the pictures of the magnificent Matterhorn and the other mountains around...but my words or the pictures cannot do justice to the experience of being there...

Another thing that I really liked about Zermatt was there were no cars. You had to leave your car outside and arrive to the town by train and inside there were only electrically powered buses called "Electros". It was nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

This weekend I literally stopped to smell the roses! (or should I say Edelweiss) which reminded me of the movie ‘Sound of Music’ which has been an all time favourite movie since the time I was a little kid. I never knew that the Edelweiss looked like this, though I liked the song Edelweiss from the movie.

There were even a few people in the Zermatt town square yodeling which again reminded me of the Loanly Goatherd from Sound of Music . It’s so amazing to experience things that you had heard about or seen on movies in real life…

Even though there are so many mountains and nature reserves in Sri Lanka, never in my life have I really gone to explore them, never tried hiking... I guess after my undergrad degree I joined the 'Rat Race' and everyday was pretty much the same, work till late, come home, TV/Internet, eat, sleep and work again… Even meeting with friends was mainly for a dinner or something, not really to do much outdoor activities. Maybe once or twice a year I would take a break and go on a vacation with my family, but not much else...

It is so nice to just take a break away from everything, but I wonder if it also requires a certain frame of mind; peace with self. Maybe we actually hide behind the busyness when we don’t want to face our selves…After a long time I can honestly say that I feel complete peace of mind, with no worries, just taking life as it comes... Maybe that was another reason why I was able to really enjoy this weekend. I have also noticed that I don't need to be doing something all the time, just a long walk can be satisfying. So now I'm trying to change my life style to be more intuned with the outdoors.

I'd just like to finish this post with "Merci beaucoup pour un merveilleux week-end!" to my new friends, if you are reading this...And here's looking forward to many more marvelous trips!

Improv at the CERN!

2008-08-09T18:05:00.009+02:00

Who would have thought that I would take part in a comedy improv workshop at the CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research)!

On Saturday there was a comedy improv workshop at the CERN conducted by Charna Halpern who is the founder of Improv Olympic Theatres where Mike Myers has studied! I just heard about it from a friend and thought I'll check it out and see, since it was open to anyone.

Actually it was like killing 2 birds with one stone, cos ever since I had read Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, I've been fascinated by CERN, and wanted to visit it, and ofcourse I've been trying to get involved in theatre here as well…

Charna and her 2 assistants conducted a really great workshop. I learnt so much about improvisation. I hadn’t really done much improvisation before this, though I had done a few improv exercises at the theatre classes. One of the first things I realized was that improvisation can be more difficult than scripted plays as there is no predefined plan and you have to think on the spot and react to the other actors on stage. So it leaves you more vulnerable as it is your thoughts not some script that you are putting into action…Which can lead you to think Am I funny enough? Would they think I’m stupid?...

Today most people who meet me don’t believe that I might be worried about what others think or that I may feel inhibited, but the truth is that it has taken over 15 years to get out of that shyness and it still sometimes comes across in certain situations and I have to continually keep working at it to have confidence in myself. One of the reasons I really love theatre is cos this is what brought me out of my shell. More about that long story can be found here

That is another reason why I decided I should attend this workshop as it is the perfect setting to act and ‘let my self go’ even if I make a fool of my self all of us are here to learn, and not professionals. It was pretty cool cos most of the others there were physicist from CERN. And being with people from a different background was really fun cos we all bring a little bit of ourselves into improvisation.

I also realised that it really is a 'team sport' cos for improv to be successful there cannot be any shining stars! With each word or action the actor creates the scene maybe by giving another character a name, setting the location… and it is important that the other actors accept this initial offer and build on it. As they call it the ‘Yes And’ attitude.

Actually there’s a lot that you can take from this into life as well. Especially the ‘Yes And’ attitude where you try to build on what others have done, rather than breaking them down…

From Geneva with Love...

2008-07-24T11:28:00.005+02:00

I can’t believe that it’s been almost 2 months since I arrived here in Geneva and started work at The Global Fund. Time certainly flies when there’s so much to do…

It’s been a really exciting and busy two months with me settling in at a new organization and new home. My shift here was made very smooth due to some wonderful colleagues at work and a few friends I made here.

In an attempt to make friends and really make the most of my stay in Geneva I have been attending many events organized by Glocals (in their own words ‘a community of friendly International folks - Expats & locals - living in Switzerland, in English’)

I even went for a Tango workshop about which I heard about from the Glocals, after all I had tried many other forms of dancing including Salsa, Jive, Cha Cha, Waltz… but this was one I had never tried!

It was quite an interesting experience to learn to Dance without speaking much as most of then mainly spoke French! (Luckily the instructor spoke English and explained the steps to me) It was also interesting the way it was taught as all the other dances I had learnt by counting the beats but here they made us dance with the eyes close to really feel the rhythm of the other person, and we always started by just walking to the music.

Among other things I’m also struggling to learn French, (though my working language is English, the people in Geneva mainly speak French) I guess the best way to learn a new language is by being immersed in that culture…

I had always heard French, Italian, Spanish being called Romantic languages and was wondering why… I thought it had something to do with people referring to French as the Language of Love, but I was surprised to learn that it comes from a completely different root.

‘Romance’, to speak in Roman was derived from Vulgar Latin (language of roman soldiers as opposed to classical) during the roman empire. I was actually a bit disappointed to learn this as I always pictured it to have a more ‘romantic’ (in the sense we use the word today) story. Apparently the word romance with the modern sense of romance novel or love affair has the same origin. In the medieval literature of Western Europe, serious writing was usually in Latin, while popular tales, often focusing on love, were composed in the vernacular and came to be called "romances". You can find out more about it here

Well as a result of my busy social life, I still have not completely unpacked my suitcases which I brought when I came here from Sri Lanka!

My Graduation

2008-05-20T09:43:00.005+02:00

On the 7th May I went back to lovely Cambridge for my graduation ceremony. It was lovely being back, almost like going back to my 2nd home (will be 3rd soon!) Especially meeting up with old friends was great and the weather was simply perfect, I unfortunately didn't have enough summer clothes as I was expecting it to be the way it was last year; all grey and rainy. We went around in our gowns and hoods following the traditions that have remained unchanged for over 800 years.

These days have been extremely hectic, with the graduation (as back in SL by the 13th morning) and of course getting everything ready for the move to Switzerland and of course the farewells...

Some of the pics of the graduation are below...

Things always seem to have a way of working out...

2008-05-05T19:18:00.005+02:00

Last Sermon in Mass was about how the Holy Spirit is always with you to guide you and this is something that I strongly believe.

Though I was happy and trying to make the best of my earlier place of work, I knew this was not it, and was trying to find my calling. So one night I had a very long conversation with GOD (I don;t know if you believe this) about where my life was headed and what I should be doing with my life, and then the very next day I got the call from the Global Fund!!!! (this is definitely a sign!) and I think this is one of the reasons why I'm not very scared about going to Geneva and starting anew... I know that the higher power is looking over me and things are going to work out!

Every new beginning is some beginnings end...

2008-04-30T17:41:00.004+02:00

Today was the last day of work again... It was kind of sad to leave everyone, even though I was only working at Dialog for a short time. After all they were my 2nd family for the past few months.

So today I spent, just wrapping up some final stuff and saying Good Bye to everyone. (had to explain to quite a few people why I was leaving as this was so sudden and not many knew)

So now have to start getting ready for Switzerland... I think it only hit me properly now that I will be leaving Sri Lanka for a long time and have to start afresh.

The Alchemist

2008-04-16T13:15:00.001+02:00

I read ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho for the first time some years ago, but recently came across it and read it again. As I mentioned in my previous post, this book’s message really spoke to me.

"The Alchemist", is an exciting novel that is full of optimism. It is the story of a Shepard boy, Santiago who goes in search for treasure. It’s main theme is that "when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true" and about how we should learn to read the signs on our journey and that they will help us to reach our goals. I wasn’t one to really believe in things like this, but lately looking at all that’s happened I’ve turned into a believer. Now I believe that if we are observant and open we will see these signs and they are God’s way of showing us the way…

Coelho also suggests that those who do not have the courage to follow their " Personal Myth", are doomed to a life of emptiness, misery, and unfulfillment. Fear of failure seems to be the greatest obstacle to happiness. As the old crystal-seller tragically confesses: " I am afraid that great disappointment awaits me, and so I prefer to dream". This is where Coelho really captures the drama of man, who sacrifices fulfillment to conformity, who knows he can achieve greatness but denies to do so, and ends up living a life of void.

I my self have sometimes not given my best when doing something in fear of failing… then if I do fail I have the ready made excuse that I didn’t try hard anyway. I think often it is this fear that keeps us from living upto our potential. So I decided I will give my all to everything I do and see how things turn out.

The beginning of another new chapter of my life…

2008-04-15T10:47:00.001+02:00

It’s been ages since I visited the blog-o-sphere, and soooo much has happened since then. Feels like I’m going on one hell of a roller coaster ride…

I’ll try to bring you upto date with all that’s happened as briefly as possible.

After I completed the MBA I came back to SL as you most probably already know and started working at the largest mobile operator in Sri Lanka as a project manager.

It’s been a pretty good experience but out of the blue I just got a job offer at The Global Fund in Switzerland, where I did my thesis (well there’s more there but will leave it for a separate post).

So now I’m getting ready to start work in Geneva from June 2008. I’m really excited, but also a bit apprehensive after all it’s a new country, with a new language (I’ll be in Geneva, the French part of Switzerland).

Working at The Global Fund was something that I had dreamt of ever since I did my Global Consultancy project with them, and applied in August 2007, but didn’t hear from them till now, and had given up on it. So when I got to know that I will be starting to work there, one of the first verses that came to my mind was from the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho "when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true". It seems so true from my MBA to this and so many other things in my life… (I will write a separate post on the Alchemist as it’s message has a lot of significance for me)

Now I’m Looking forward to another great adventure…

Freakanomics – Steven D Levitt and Stephen J Dubner

2008-01-11T06:53:00.000+01:00

I had been trying to get hold of this book for a long time, and finally managed to read it. (My first book for the year!)

Describing the book is a pretty difficult task as it is the efforts by an economist to explore all sorts of events and which occur in day to day life and about the immediate society we live in rather than the macro issues such as inflation. There is no unifying theme to the book. When I saw the different chapter I was quite intrigued trying to figure out what it was all about, for example the first chapter was titled ‘What Do Schoolteachers and Sumo Wrestlers Have in Common?’… (and I’m going to leave you in suspense to find out for yourself what is common)

In the end the main message that I took away from reading the book is that conventional wisdom in not necessarily the truth and it’s useful to always look at a problem from a different perspective.

A Year that will last a life time...

2007-12-31T06:51:00.001+01:00

Today is the last day of this year and looking back I think last year is the one year that I will never forget for as long as I live...

'A year that will last you a lifetime' is the tag line used in the Judge Business School, Cambridge brochure and I see how true it is... Spending a year in Cambridge was unbelievable! Now I can count Sir Isaac Newton and Lord Tennyson as my fellow alumni!!!

The people I met were amazing, from so many different nationalities and backgrounds. I learnt so much last year, both in the class room and outside and I feel that I really matured as a person. My view of the world has changed in a major way, this experience has really broadened my outlook. I learnt to see the world through different eyes, no longer do I assume the stereotypical characteristics just because someone is from a particular country. Working with the Global Fund in Geneva was also a wonderful experience, I had always wanted to work as part of the UN. I thought of sharing a video made by one of my class mates with photos of the whole class, and our special moments last year...
Cambridge MBA Highlights 2006/2007

As if that wasn't enough, Who would have thought I'll get the opportunity to see my all time fav band Bon Jovi perform live (I still have to pinch myself to make sure it was not just a dream), or go Paragliding in Switzerland, or ride dodgem cars in a ball dress or go to Paris and visit the Louvre! I feel so blessed, like the lyrics of the Take That song 'Never Forget' this really could be someone else' dream!

This year I hope to continue living life to the fullest and to do my bit to make this world a better place...

I would just like to end this post by wishing you and your families a wonderful New Year during which all your dreams will come true!

Christmas!!!!

2007-12-26T05:58:00.000+01:00

I spent a lovely Chistmas day with my family and cousins and thought of sharing a picture of all the cousins. Bit busy right now with Christmas and work, so will keep this short.

My first lecture

2007-12-14T03:48:00.002+01:00

Right now Cambridge seems like a distant dream. I can’t believe that I’ve been here for less than three months. When I think of the house in Cambridge and cycling to Uni and meeting all my friends, and all the historical buildings it feels like it was another lifetime. I thought I’d miss it more, but surprisingly I just adjusted to life here pretty quickly…

I finally decided to start work in the New Year, as I thought it would be nice to relax and enjoy Christmas and then start. While waiting, I’ve been working at my University temporarily evaluating the MBA syllabus and just conducted my first visiting lecture! It was more of a talk than a lecture on my research project which I carried out in collaboration with the Global Fund to fight AIDs, Tuberculosis and Malaria, on the skills I learnt. Imagine that! Little me lecturing a class of senior professionals! I think over all it went well. I’m finding that I enjoy lecturing… Maybe I’ll continue to be a visiting lecturer!

So this is Christmas…

2007-12-14T03:44:00.000+01:00

What have you done? Another year’s over… a new one’s just begun…

This song was going on the radio and got me thinking… Last year was an amazing year for me, I learnt so many things and became so much more independent and I think I’ve grown up a lot last year too… but as a person what have I done for others?

Have I become indifferent to the sufferings of others, and become overwhelmed in my own world… Especially while in UK I rarely saw any poverty and even the beggars singing at the tube stations don’t seem to be as poor as the beggars that I see here everyday… But just because I cease to see them, that does not mean that they do not exist…

So what is the meaning of Christmas? Surely it’s not having lavish parties and shopping till you drop… Is it helping those in need and visiting friends and family, but shouldn’t that be done all through the year, and not just once a year? I guess it’s better to atleast think of others once a year rather than not at all…

Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ in a manger; the people who came to welcome him to this world were poor shepherds and their sheep, so isn’t it ironic how people celebrate such a holy day by partying, and how the media has commercialised it so much that the way to show that you love your friends and family is by buying the most expensive gift!

Last weekend some of my friends and I visited and organised a party at Freedom House, in Kelaniya which is a home for the mentally disabled people who have received treatment and are better but have no place to go to as their families have disowned them due to the stigma of having a mentally ill person in their homes. It was very sad, as some of them talked about their own families and how they’re hoping that they would visit for Christmas. One person had found out that his parents had migrated to Australia without even telling him… We could see that they really appreciated the company… Made me think how lucky I am…

New Beginning...

2007-11-20T05:08:00.000+01:00

So many new things have happened recently... It's like the words from the song 'Welcome to Wherever you are' 'Every new beginning is some beginning's end'. So though my time at Cambridge is over and I'm back in the real world, I've just moved house here in Sri Lanka and also am getting ready to start work (that will have to go in another post!) again after a nice relaxing break of a couple of months.

This is the first time we're moving house in Sri Lanka after about 20 years... So it's quite an experience. It's amazing how much garbage you accumulate over the years! This change is also good as I'm learning to break the routine I've gotten into in the last 20 years living in the same place, meeting the same people etc (of course not counting the year in Cambridge!). What I realised was that though initially I thought it would be a bit inconvenient, inconvenience is really relative, it is further away from the city than I'm used to but, just a 20min drive from it! And there are always pros and cons anywhere... While it can be a bit longer for me to travel to work, the surrounding area is much more quieter and I wake up to the sound of bird calls. There are a lot of birds in the area and I want to have a bird bath. It;s nice to move into a house which we built ourselves and we finally also have a large garden.

We also just started to go to a new church, and I was amazed at the dedication of that community to the church. It was a new church which was solely built by the contributions and projects conducted by the community of about 50 people. This Christmas we're all going to bake a huge Christmas cake together.

One thing I do miss though are my cousins who used to live next door, but ofcourse we still visit them regularly... I guess change is inevitable we just have to adapt to it.

Back in Sri Lanka!!!

2007-10-13T08:53:00.000+02:00

I'm back in Sri Lanka now. Feels great to be home... Even though I really enjoyed the MBA and the experience, I missed my friends and family... Most of last week was spent catching up with all my friends and finding out the latest gossip, going out for dinners and coffees.. As my cousin puts it, it's like Christmas for me!

This pic was taken when we went to a karaoke bar and sang our hearts out!
I've been catching up on more reading and movies lately too. Just completed reading the Zahir by Paulo Cohelo. Most of his books have the message that if you really want something and work hard to get it the whole universe will conspire with you to help you obtain it... It's so true...

I Love this town...

2007-09-22T00:04:00.000+02:00

I just bought the Bon Jovi album Lost Highway and the song 'I love this town' hit close to home cos I'll be leaving Cambridge soon, and I do love this town there are some words which stick in my head.

I always knew, that I'd like this place
You don't have to look too far,to find a friendly face
I feel alive when I'm walkin' on the street
I feel the heart of the citypoundin' underneath my feet

Yeahhhhh let the world keep spinnin round 'n' round
This is where it's goin' down, down, down
That's why I, love this town
That's why I, keep co-min' round
Say hey (say hey) say yeah (say yeah)
You make me feel at home some how, right, now
That's why I, love this town

I've got some good friends here, I might have broke a heart or two
It's gettin' loud over there, they boys must have had a few
And hey the cop on the corner, he knows everybody's name
And a kid with a train singin' forsome spare loose change

One of the things that I love about Cambridge is the historical significance of all the buildings and how whenever you pass a building there’s a wonderful story behind it, like the famous Eagle pub where we meet up often which was the place where Crick and Watson announced the finding of the DNA to the public. Then there's Newton’s famous apple tree (actually a descendant from it) on Trinity Street which I would pass each day on my way home from the University.

I'll also miss my friends, but will be coming back in May next year for my Graduation.

The Monk who sold his ferrari

2007-09-19T13:37:00.000+02:00

I've also started to catch up on my reading (trying to do everything which I kept postponing saying that I'm too busy, before starting to get too busy again!)

I just completed reading The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, which is the story of Julian Mantle, a hotshot lawyer whose out-of-balance lifestyle leads him to an almost fatal heart attack in a packed courtroom. His physical collapse brings on a spiritual crisis that forces him to confront the condition of his life and seek answers to life’s most important questions. Hoping to find happiness and fulfilment, he embarks upon an extraordinary odyssey to an ancient culture, where he discovers a powerful system to release the potential of his mind, body and soul, and learns to live with greater passion, purpose and peace. The book is written in the style of him sharing this extraordinary story with his law colleague.

I felt that the style of the book, made the message drag a bit, but it had some good insights. The seven mail principles for better living according to the book were:

Master your Mind
Follow your purpose
Continuous Improvement
Live with Discipline
Respect your time
Selflessly serve others
Embrace the present

One particular quote really stood out in my mind, and I really this it's so true...

“Sure I am this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us.” - Churchill

Cosi Fan Tutte

2007-09-13T17:27:00.000+02:00

One of the best things about Cambridge is there are many performances, theatre, opera musicals... where the actors and singers are of 'West End' quality, but the tickets are much cheaper. I guess part of the reason is cos though most of the actors and actresses are students they are all studying classical arts and maybe I've seen the stars of tomorrow performing here!

So these days I thought of catching as many performances as possible since I've got the time. Yesterday I went to see my first Opera with a friend, it was Mozart's comedy, 'Cosi Fan Tutte' sung in English. According to the Wikipedia the title literally means "Thus do all [women]"

It had the theme of "fiancee swapping" where the two main characters disguise themselves and try to seduce the other's fiancee in order to prove to themselves that their women are faithful as their when friend proclaims that all women are fickle.

I thought it had a rather silly story line (and I totally disagree with their idea that all women are unfaithful), but the music was beautiful and the singing was brilliant! [hey am turning British, they're the one's always calling everything brilliant!] All in all it was an enjoyable evening.

Freedom...

2007-09-11T20:23:00.000+02:00

I've just completed my MBA and handed in my dissertation end of August. So these days I'm relaxing and it's strange to have so much free time cos I haven't had a break in years. For as long as I can remember I've been extremely busy first with the ALs then Uni, started work even before handing in the final project only left work one week before the MBA. So I actually never had any time to stop and think; never even had a couple of weeks break between my different endeavours.

At first not being busy was difficult for me, but now I'm starting to enjoy the break before going back to the busy work life style. I'm actually just enjoying music, books and long walks; doing more sight seeing; literally stopping to smell the roses and finding my self.

Bon Jovi Rocked the O2 and I was there!!!!

2007-07-01T20:43:00.000+02:00

Looks like blogging has now become a monthly thing...

So much has happened since my last blog that I don't know where to begin... Just yesterday some friends and I went on a moonlit punt, only problem was though it was a full moon day, there no moon, it was covered by the clouds and it rained cats and dogs, it's a wonder that I didn't get sick, we were drenched to the skin! Then we also had the May week (in June, it's another one of those crazy Cambridge things) and I stayed up till dawn at the May Ball, had the 'Survivours Breakfast' and got back exhaused!

We've now officially completed all the lectures and I'm now working on my final dissertation. So maybe I'll have a bit more time to blog.

Guess what, after being a fan of Bon Jovi for over 12 years, and having a room which looked more like a Bon Jovi shrine as a teenager, I finally got to see them perform Live at the O2 Arena, on the 24th June 2007. They came to open the O2 Arena formerly known as the Millenium Dome which is now the largest Arena in UK. (this 23000 seater, is even larger than the wembly)

Though I wasn't really close to the stage, the seats(ofcourse we weren't sitting, who could sit through Bon Jovi!) were graded and I had a clear view of the stage. The tickets had been sold within minutes after they went on sale and I had to buy from ebay(don't ask how much, but it was worth every last penny!).

They started with 'Linving on a prayer'. Jon looked gorgeous as ever in his black shirt with golden work, and he was doing his usual dance routine! I screamed and sang along to all the songs and jumped up and down. They really knew to work the crowd!

Bon Jovi played for about 2hrs and sang most of my old favourites and many songs from their new album 'Lost Highway'. Love the new songs. Must get that album.

Jon sang their own version of 'Halelluja' which game me goose bumps... You can see it here

Jon spoke about 'so many memories in this town...and that's why I love this town' just before singing their new song 'I Love this Town' and I was just thinking how true... for me, I'll never forget this unbelievable year or this town!!!

These are some of the pics I took of them playing.

Paris... the city of Love

2007-05-24T01:11:00.000+02:00

I can't believe that it's been over a month since I updated my blog. So much has happened since then...

This year has been amazing. Another one of my dreams came true, I visited Paris!!!!! I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure that this is not all a dream.

The HEC Business School Paris organised an inter business school sports tournament in Paris from the 17th to the 20th. So about 60 of us from Cambridge also took part. (when I say took part I mean went along, I didn't play any sports, I mainly went for cheering, partying and of course sight seeing) Many other European Business Schools were also there, including LBS, Oxford, Manchester, Insead...

We walked from Arc de Triumph to Eiffel Tower down Champs Elysee and that walk was simply gorgeous. No wonder they call it the city of love. We also visited the Notre Dame Cathedral and Louvre and the Vasailles Palace. I had been dying to see the Louvre ever since I read the Da Vinci Code, and of course as soon as we went there we did the typical touristy thing of going to see Mona Lisa behind the thick glass and had to push through the huge crowd there to see the painting.
Some of us in front of Eiffel Tower at night
With our Volley Ball team who came to the finals

Partying in Paris
Entrance of Notre Dame Cathedral
Vasaille Palace
Roof of the Vasailles Chapel
Famous pyramids of the Louvre

Here are some of the photos we took there, I've uploaded a lot more to www.flickr.com/photos/roshanthi

I had to take a vacation from my vacation with all the walking and partying till the wee hours of the morning and then sleeping a couple of hours and going sight seeing again! Watching and cheering for the sports was really fun too, and it was cool to see how this brought the kids in all of us. When I came here I thought that everyone will be serious business people but it has been so much fun. I'm feeling sad to have to leave the MBA and join the real world soon...

Lucky Man (Girl!)

2007-04-15T20:58:00.002+02:00

I Finally found some time to read a book; Lucky Man. Lucky Man is the autobiography of Michael J Fox. It's a really compelling book, and really made me think of what's important in Life, and how short life is and how I shouldn't take anything for granted. I also thought how lucky I am (yes, I'm still referring to my self as girl, after all I'm young at heart!) for everything I've got, even though I sometimes complain about the little things.

I was a huge fan of Michael J Fox, and was shocked to hear that he had Parkinson's disease. I remember watching Family Ties and Back to the Future as a kid and totally loving them both.

There were a few lines from the book which really stayed with me,
"It wasn't for me to fret about time or loss but appreciate each day, move forward, and have faith that something larger was at work, something with it's own sense of timing and balance."

He also reminded me of the famous prayer "God Give me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

He had finished with another one of my favourite lines by George Bernard Shaw
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
This is the start of the line that I've written as the description of my blog. ("I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. Life is no 'brief candle' for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations")

Back from Switzerland

2007-04-05T18:07:00.000+02:00

Well I'm back from Switzerland and the trip was great :) It's such a beautiful place... and I love the chocolates. My friends were complaining that I tend to get lost in Chocolate stores!

The work with our clients went smoothly, and we're now working on the rest of the project, and after that we spent our weekend in Interlaken and Berne. It was wonderful. I even went paragliding! So that's how birds feel like when they fly... It was simply amazing. The view was breathtaking. Basically what I did was strap myself to someone (an experienced paraglider) and jumping off a cliff!!!!

You can see a few pics we took below.

Geneva Here I come!

2007-03-27T21:25:00.000+02:00

So much has happened since I last blogged, one year MBAs are so hectic. You're either going for lectures, writing assignments, researching, or partying! (don't get me wrong though, I'm not complaining) Anyway it's such a relief that my exams finished on the 16th of March. We celebrated the end with a Poker Night combined with St Patrick's Day party. Some pics are below.

Though the rest of Cambridge is having Easter Vacation, we don't get that luxury we're working on the Global Consultancy Project. I'm not complaining though, cos this is the chance that we get to practically apply all the stuff that we learnt in the class room to real life problems faced by Global firms. So we get real consultancy practice while the firms get solutions for some particular issue that they are facing for free. It's a win-win situation.
Our consultancy project team comprises of 5 girls and 1 guy and our client is in Geneva. So we're now known as the Charlie's Angels (we've got 5 Angels!) Our client in Geneva is supposed to be Charlie, as we actually gather around a speaker phone to talk to him and 'take his orders.'

I'm so excited right now, cos we'll be visiting we'll be getting to see Charlie in Geneva on the 29th March. That's going to be so much fun. I'll post lots of pics after I come back.

The single guy in the group is John. Some think he's really lucky to be working with 5 crazy girls and others sympathise with him. Take your pick!

Here's a pic of the Charlie's Angels team.

Some have actually altered our name to Charities Angels as we're working on a Not-for-profit project. I've always had a strong interest in the not for profit sector and have been volunteering often in Sri Lanka. I initially considered doing a project for more technically inclined company as my background is in engineering but then thought it might be better to actually do something like this as I wouldn't really get the chance to do this again.

We have a very international team and yesterday we thought of have an initiation pot luck dinner with an international dinner. It was great. Here's more pics of the Charlie's (Charity's) Angels.

This brings to mind another Charlie's Angels I was part of long ago... If the other two Angels read this I'm sure you'll know. That was when I was studying computer after ALs but waiting to enter uni...

Birthday party and new friends

2007-02-28T03:34:00.000+01:00

Well I almost forgot about my room mates Birthday party. It was great, we booked common room in our College and invited some friends over. Here's a couple of pics taken at the party.

I finally got to know a lot more Sri Lankans in Cambridge, it was great! All this time I thought there was not many, but turns out there's a lot more than I expected. This weekend there is a Dinner Dance organzed by the Cambridge University Sri Lankan Society, and I'm looking forward to that.

Cambridge Family

2007-02-28T02:47:00.000+01:00

Last Sunday I decided to join the Churchill College Choir. (for those of you not too familiar with this college system which is unique to Cambridge and 'the other place' ie Oxford there's a brief overview at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colleges_of_the_University_of_Cambridge) Since my College New Hall doesn't have a choir, we join the one nearest. I really missed singing cos I used to sing in Sri Lanka in our church choir and it was great to be part of a choir again.

After the Evensong service we had the formal hall dinner together and a couple of undergrads sitting near me started talking about their 'Sons', 'Daughters' and even 'Grandchildren'. So I was really curious, and asked the girl next to me what this was all about. Then I learnt that here in Cambridge there is a mentorship program for undergrads, where they have a 'mother' and 'father' from the senior year and that usually one is from the same discipline and responsible in helping with the studies of the 'child' while the other is studying a different subject and is responsible to help 'socialise' the 'child'. I was told that they sometimes even have mock wedding ceremonies sometimes. This was the first time I heard of this, cos there's no such thing for the postgrads. This is another one of those eccentricities of Cambridge, which gives it's identity like the 'Harry Potter' gowns which are still worn at formal occations.

I just got to know about another one of these rowing rituals called 'Lent Bumps'. Divisions of 17 or 18 crews line up along the river, with just one-and-a-half boat lengths (90 feet) between each. At the firing of a small cannon, all hell breaks loose as each crew tries to catch up with and actually collide with (bump) the crew in front before the crew behind does the same to them!
The races are held one each day for four days and by bumping on any given day, a crew moves up a place on the river for the following day's race. For any given crew, the aim is to go up four places on the river during the course of the four day's racing.

I never cease to be amazed with all these, but I guess Cambridge wouldn't be Cambridge without these rituals!

Where is my life headed???

2007-02-22T02:36:00.000+01:00

Well I guess I've been blogging a lot less lately, with so much to do. Especially since I'm not only working on lectures and assignments but also with job hunting. (CVs Coverletters and all... cos most of the deadlines for positions after September are in Jan and Feb) Last week we just had a Cambridge Oxford Careers fair. Hopefully I'll be able to work here for atleast a couple of years so that I can pay back my loan quickly. I'd love to work in a Tech related area which is also connected with busienss. Tech consultancy is one of the careers I'm interested in.

While I was wondering what I want to do with life, yesterday a couple of MBAs from last years class came to speak about their business venture. They had both left great jobs at banks to open their own cycle store. While I was not totally conviced of their business case and the amount they were expecting to make, I was so impressed with their courage! It's amazing how most of the entrepreners start from very small and go no to do so well... This seriously makes me wonder about what I want to do...

Snow Snow Snow... and Good Byes

2007-02-09T14:59:00.000+01:00

Well I know it's ages since my last post, I guess it had to snow again for me to get back to my blog. Work as usual has been unbelievably hectic. Yesterday the snow was unbelievable, as soon as I woke up, I saw that the back yard was covered by a sheet of snow through the window. The whole of Cambridge has been transformed. So I decided to take the 30 minute walk instead of cycling cos everything was so pretty. Here are some pics I took.

It’s also a sad time cos for me cos my close friend with whom I spent Christmas, is going back to Sri Lanka as she has found a job there. I’m really going to miss her. So last weekend I spent at her place in London. A couple of other Sri Lankan friends came over too and we had a lovely time.

Snow!

2007-01-25T03:09:00.000+01:00

Today was the first day we had proper snow in Cambridge and the back yard looked so pretty covered by a sheet of snow. I saw that it was snowing as I was getting ready to go to Uni and as soon as I stepped out I thought I should take a picture and ran back in to get my camera.

It was interesting to cycle while is was snowing, at first I enjoyed it but later when the snow flakes started to get in my eyes and nose and mouth, it wasn't that fun!

So as you can imagine it's pretty cold here, and I thought that we were going to have a very mild Winter!

Thesedays work is extremely hectic again. I didn't think it was possible to get anymore hectic than last semester but it is! We've got assignements due almost every otherday and full day lectures, but all in all it's still an interesting experience. So this is what has been keeping me away from the blog-o-sphere for a while.

Just today a new girl moved into my house and guess what she's a Sri Lankan. What are the chances of that, considering how few Sri Lankans are here! It's great to have someone to speak in Sinhala with. We had a nice long chat. I'm looking forward to getting to know her more...

End of exams...

2007-01-12T23:51:00.000+01:00

Finally after studying for about a week with difficulty I've finally finished my exams. It's funny how I used to be able to study so much more, I guess after working in the corporate world for a while, it's difficult to pick up those books again. It's such a releif, but I'll be starting lectures again on Monday so no real break for me. This term is supposed to be even more hectic (if that's possible) with the Global Consultancy project too.

To celebrate the end of the exams the MBAs met at one of the local pubs tonight (everything is an excuse to get drunk at the pub here, from the beginning of exams to the end of them to the beggining of term, and just cos there's nothing else to do), but I decided not to go cos I was just a bit tired and still recovering from a flue. (it's extra hard to work when you're sick!) These are the times that I miss my mom the most...

Looking forward to a new term with new challenges and rewards...

Christmas and New Years in London

2007-01-04T17:54:00.000+01:00

The holiday season was great and I really enjoyed my say in London except for the way it ended. (as I've mentioned in the earlier post.) I spent it with two of my very close friends from Sri Lanka, and it was nice to be able to speak in Sinhala after a long time. They both held a couple of parties and these were Sri Lankan too and we even had a Sinhalese band in one and that was great!!! It's ages since I really listened to good Sinhalese music.

Below are the friends I spent Christmas and New Year with. The second pic was taken on New Years eve when we decided to have champagne before heading out to see the fireworks. (more about it later.)

I think going to see the live performance of the Phantom of the Opera is one of the major highlights of the trip. I had been wanting to see it for so long and it was everything I imagined. The singing of Earl Carpenter as the Phantom, Celia Graham as Christine and Michael Xavier as Raoul and the rest of the cast was excellent. At the end I actually felt sad for the Phantom.

Below are 2 pictures of the stage, unfortunately they do not allow photos to be taken during the show. The props were magnificent and the chandelier on the left is the one that crashes on stage, it was hung above the audience and for a minute you think it's going to crash on the audience and then it swings and crashes on the stage. One of my all time favourite songs from this is 'All I Ask of you' you can listen to it on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=838Wfr7gHbQ Soon after coming back I found all the songs.

I Went to see the modern reconstruction of Shakespeare's Globe theatre too. Unfortunately they don't do any shows during winter, I would love to see a Shakespeare play there during summer

Of course no Christmas or New year could be complete without shopping. So my friends and I went for all the boxing day sales, unfortunately I couldn't find that many nice things, but I did buy a pretty dress from French Connection UK.

To celebrate the arrival of 2007 we decided to see the Fireworks display near the London eye. The display was magnificent. We ended up spending around 5hrs in the cold to see the 10 minute fireworks display cos we went there early to get a good spot and after it was over most of the tube stations were closed and we had to walk quite a distance to find one that was open.

Left is the Big Ben close to midnight on the 31st and the other is London by night

It couldn't happen to me...

2007-01-04T00:14:00.000+01:00

How many times have you told your self this about many things from mugging? Well it did happen to me and on the 1st of January. What a way to start the new year!

While in London, I was walking from the tube station to my friends place around 10pm after some site seeing (will talk about everything else I did in London in the next post) when a woman came out of no where and said something to me while looking desperate. I was holding my wallet and stopped to find out what she said thinking she might be in trouble. Within seconds she grabbed my wallet and ran. For a second I was taken aback and then I ran after her down a lane shouting that she stole my wallet, but couldn't see her anywhere, and no one near by seemed to care. I even asked a couple of people whether they had seen her but no one seemed to know anything. Then I finally decided to return to my friends place ASAP without wondering around and think about my next step. I didn't feel safe hanging around there.

First thing I did after getting to my friends place was to get my credit and debit cards cancelled. Luckily my friend was about to find out all the necessary numbers for it. Then on the next morning we went to the police station in the area and made a complaint. (don't think that I'd get my wallet but atleast I have done all I could) So in the end I had only lost the £30 cash that i has in the wallet and my university card which has already been replaced.

Well I consider this as a wake up call for me. I've been very careless about my safety since the day I got here saying that it is very safe. I've learnt never to talk to strangers in the night. ( I guess since this woman was small and looked innocent I didn't suspect a thing) I also am going to try to avoid walking late at night as much as possible. I also learnt that I should never have wallets, phones, or anything valuable in my hand when walking, and to have only a little cash as with bank cards, cos the bank cards can be cancelled immediately.

At least this time it was only money and nothing happened to me, so I'm taking this as an early warning to be careful when travelling alone.

Well other than this incident my trip to London was great. I'l write more about that in my next post. Just felt like writing about this now cos it's still very fresh in my mind.

Merry Christmas to everyone...

2006-12-23T15:33:00.000+01:00

Well I'm off to London for Christmas and New Year, so just thought of wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Fantastic New Year!!!!

More Blogging in the New Year!

...being thrown off the conveyor belt

2006-12-20T01:23:00.000+01:00

I was just reading the New Scientist Graduate Careers Special and came across this line.

After 2 decades in education, everything you've done so far has been something of a conveyor belt. This is where somebody rams a steel rod into the workings and you fly off the end; to land either smoothly on your feet or flat on your face.

Well I feel this experience here in Cambridge is to a major extent like that. Till now, most of my life was influenced by friends and family. (not that they forced me to do engineering or anything but never the less I feel I was influenced) When ever I came to a turning point there was always some one there to tell me what they thought might be the best way. Here it's up to to me to decide and do as I want.

It's a strange independence which I feel is making me a different person. These days I find myself thinking a lot about what I want to do with the rest of my life (still have no idea, but it's a start :0) ) I've realised that often you don't know all the things you are capable of until you're left to your own devices. Now I find myself cooking, looking after the place I'm staying, taking care of bills and everything while studying whereas before since I was with my family, my parents took care of most of these responsibilities though I helped of course. It's a great feeling.

Today as I went shopping in the morning I saw the first signs of snow... well actually frost, but it's still white and so I took this picture. It seems like we're headed for a white Christmas considering how cold it is here.

I'm already starting to get bored...

2006-12-13T00:19:00.000+01:00

It's funny, i'm already starting withdrawal symptoms of not having lectures anymore, of course it's not the lectures that I miss but going to JBS and chatting over coffee with my collegues and the last few months were so hectic I suddenly find my self free and thinking 'what now?' Most of my friends have gone home for Christmas.

First few days of free time was great I caught up on a lot of beauty sleep, but now I'm a bit bored, ofcourse I have exams in Jan, but can't really start studying yet.

So started to go to the movies and carol services, just watched Casino Royale yesterday but didn't think it was that good (didn't like the blond Bond!). hoping to go see The Holiday tomorrow. Hope it'll be better...

I'm looking forward to going to London...

It beginning to feel like Christmas...

2006-12-10T23:26:00.000+01:00

I went for a Carol Service here and as I started to sing the familiar Christmas Carols it started to feel like Christmas... Here in the UK the Christmas lights have been on for a long time and stores are selling lots of Christmas goodies, but I only started to feel like Christmas today. This is the first Christmas I'll be spending away from my family and so I'm planning on spending it with two of my childhood friends living in London. (closest to family I've got here)

I was trying to get in touch with my spiritual side today. Thesedays so many things have been happening that I was over whelmed by them. I'm hoping to get in touch with my spiritual side more this Christmas and to stop to admire nature. I was just thinking how commertialized Christmas has become...

We've finally finished the lectures for the term and I finished my consultancy project too. So last couple of days I've been totally relaxing and catching up on my beauty sleep! Unfortunately I don't get to relax too much during the Christmas holidays cos I have 2 assignments due next week and exams in January. Ofcourse I still plan to take about a week off and spend it with my friends in London.

I was just writing my Management Practice Assignment and decided to take a break and blog as I've now written everything, and just need to polish it and cut 300 words. It's always better to take a break and then read it again cos I always see so many mistakes which I didn't notice before.

Management Practice was one of my favourite subjects this term, it was all about the soft skills and how we should reflect on our actions, and this essay is quite interesting. We are supposed to describe and reflect on the group dynamics of our study group, and also write about what I would do differently in retrospect... There's so much to write, it's very difficult to limit it to 2500 words. I think we went through the main forming, storming, norming and performing phases of a team. Initially we were very careful about 'stepping on other's toes' in the forming phase, then we started to go into the storming phase where we had quite a few conflicts. Finally we've now got our own norms and I believe that we performed well at the last consultancy project.

3 Parties and a Presentation...

2006-12-02T10:52:00.000+01:00

Last week has been unbelievably Busy! I Went to 3 parties and had to get ready for our 1st consultancy project presentation which we just finished today. So I've been working and playing hard with the minimum sleep.

First one was our College party which I posted about.

Then last Friday was the bond theme party. It was so much fun. I danced till my feet hurt after a long time. The music was perfect, they played all the songs I love. This is a pic taken there.

They even had a fake casino where you can gamble with fake money in the 'Casino Royale' Style! Now I really want to go see the movie. I've heard it's good, but I can't believe that there can be any other bond who's as good as Sean Connery! (That's one classy guy!)

The 3rd party was the grandest of them all! It was the Sir judge Christmas party which is hosted by the benefactor of the Judge Business School. It was held in London at his pent house and it was great. Attire was Black tie or national and I thought of wearing a saree since I brought one. People here really liked it. It's funny how you appreciate your own culture more when you're away from it! These photos were taken there. There are more photos on my flickr site here

I really enjoyed my self there and after coming back to Cambridge some of us were still in the party mood and went to a small club at 2am and went home at 4am! What a night! Unfortunately had to get back to work on the presentation the next day (Sunday)

We Finally finished our project presentation today, and so now I'm feeling really relaxed, cos I finally start my Christmas Hols. I still do have 2 assignments due in Dec, but I'm gonna take a break for now.

So I'm going to sleep and plan on getting up really late... Good Night. zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Where is God's Perfection?

2006-11-30T01:58:00.000+01:00

I received this on an email and it touched my heart, and according to Truth or Fiction this is true. So I thought of sharing it with you all.

In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning disabled children. At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the perfection in my son Shaya? Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?" The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish, stilled by the piercing query. " I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child."
He then told the following story about his son Shaya:

One afternoon Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, "Do you think they will let me play?" Shaya's father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya's father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.Shaya's father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said "We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

Shaya's father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game? Surpassingly, Shaya was given the bat.

Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact.
The first pitch came in and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya's teammates came up to Shaya and together the held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya. As the pitch came in, Shaya and his teammate swung at the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.
Everyone started yelling,"Shaya, run to first. Run to first." Never in his life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide-eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second." Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, "Run to third." As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, "Shaya run home."
Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "those 18 boys reached their level of God's perfection."