Making Friends...

As soon as I came to Switzerland I didn’t really know many people here and was very keen to make friends, especially as I came here alone without family. So I started going for many random events just to get to know people. But recently I found myself thinking… I’ve been so busy running around trying to get to know more people, but can I really call them friends, I often go to one of these events and talk to a number of people for a few minutes and often have forgotten even their names by the time I leave the party. I think that out of fear of being alone I have just gone to the other extreme, going for every event and party organised to make sure i meet new people, but not paying enough attention to the friends that I already have...

When we say 'How are you' do we even stick around for the response, do we really care how the other person is, or just asking mechanically? I recently found myself saying 'I'm good and you?' in response to 'Hi' that was when I started to think about how mechanical this has become!

To make real friends, you have to listen, pay attention and remember what the other person has said and build the relationship, so similar to improv... not just say something like a reflex action while thinking of many different things. Otherwise these friendships (can I even call them friendships) are on the surface and not deep, I've often wondered why I don't make the kind of close friends that i used to make at school, some of whom are still my best friends. .. I guess one major difference is that in those days we said what we mean and meant what we said…today we're so busy and we are often pre occupied...There's the TV, Radio, thinking of other things, we're bombarded with so much information...

So I decided that I should try to give more time and effort to my existing friendships, and really get to know the friends that I have made recently rather trying to meet so many new people, but not really know any of them.