Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I just feel like screaming today. I'm not too sure why, I guess it's just a lot of tiny frustrating things added together. Just had an appointment which got postponed for tomorrow, and even though it's a small thing, it was like the 'water drop that made the bucket overflow'.

I know that my life is wonderful, compared to others and some may not even dare to dream of having what I've got, and that I take way too much for granted. It's just sometimes I just feel like letting out the bad feelings without just 'baring it all with a smile'.

I'm tired of waiting to find out where I'm going for my MBA cos I still have no idea how I will be financing it. It's really frustrating to know that you've been accepted but not know whether you can go, cos of finances. Still no news from Cambridge about the schols or the Loans, I've tried all I could.

I'm tired of being 'chirpy' and this energy ball running around doing everything and smiling and treating all the customers and colleagues with a smile and respect even when they are rude to me! I'm also totally confused about where my life is headed, or what I'm going to do with the rest of my life...

Don't worry I'll be back to my normal 'chirpy' self soon, but it does feel good, just to get this out at least on my blog since I can't really get up and scream right now.

3 Comments:

Blogger Turtle Guy said...

What you say isn't new, my friend. We all face frustrations - even when our genuine outlook on life is pleasant and cheerful. I'm going through a frustrating time myself, as you know, with finances. It bugs the crap out of me that "money" is such a controlling force in our lives. Money is but one thing in the mix - yet people are defined by it, controlled by it - even kill for it. What's with that?? I'm feeling physically affected by it. It bugs me so much that I can literally tell you what parts of my body ache because of it.

Your challenges with your MBA are also linked to money, no? You know HOW to be a student, you know what you must do to be accepted by an institution. What's out of your control is the money.

Sad, really because I wonder how many brilliant minds are out there ready to be tapped - yet money is keeping these minds from opening up to be explored.

5:24 pm, May 03, 2006  
Blogger smiley said...

I think I know what you mean about physically being affected by the lack of money. Sometimes feels as if my head's going to burst when I think too much about it.

So I pray, keep my fingers and toes crossed and wait, believing whatever happens will be for the best, even though it's so damn hard sometimes!

I do know a few brilliant minds like the ones you are talking about, who ended up going to mediocre schools and not perfoming upto their potential all because of the lack of money.

I know common wisdom says to make money your slave and not the other way around, but how do you make a slave of something you don't have?

5:57 am, May 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:29 pm, May 22, 2006  

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