Friday, May 26, 2006

Misery Likes Company…

I'm not my ‘chirpy’ self these days. I guess it’s cos of many little things… These days I’ve been having more of those Aaaaaaaaaaaah days…

In addition to not being ‘chirpy’ I find myself being irritable and snapping at innocent bystanders including my family...(this is one of my habits which I hate the most, and am trying really hard to get rid of that)

As the saying goes ‘Misery Likes Company’ and so I am unloading all my burdens on you :0)

First of all work not challenging and that’s seriously starting to get to me, I guess since everyone knows I’ll be leaving in a few months, they don’t want to give me large new projects… but in my opinion, the only thing worse than being overloaded with work is not having enough! Ok I know I must be starting to sound like a workaholic, but the fact is I really need work to be challenging to be motivated. That brings me to my second problem of I’ve lost my motivation at work and I just go through the work mechanically…

The thing that keeps coming back to bug me, is that my future feels like one 'Big Blur' I know I should take it as it comes and not worry and that everything happens for a reason, and the famous advice from Sun Screen about “Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.”(this is what I keep telling my friends too…) But it can be frustrating sometimes when you don’t know what exactly you want to do with life or what the purpose of my life is…

I guess one of the reasons I decided on the MBA is to broaden my perspective and in the hope that I’ll find myself, during that year on my own… I feel that all my life I’ve been influenced by the people around me, and need to find myself and ‘who I am’… I sometimes even wonder what whether I would still be an engineer if my dad wasn’t a Prof. in engineering himself (to be fair to him though I must say that my parents never forced me, this was what I chose) Would I have still become and ‘engineer’, done ‘arts’ or ‘psychology’ or even gone into ‘performance theatre‘ considering how much I love to be the centre of attraction :0)

Maybe the ‘techie’ in my would have won anyway :0)…Of course I must say that I have no regrets about what I’ve done, and all the experiences that I have been through to get to where I am…

I still haven’t heard a thing from Cambridge about the finances either, so that’s not helping my mood…

So these days my theme song is ‘Had a bad day’…

Where is the moment when needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day...

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost...

Thanks for listening… :0) Hey Muthulee and Doc if you guys are lurking around, thanks for the long chats :0) I already feel better :0)…


Blogger amit said...

Hey this is a coincidence. Even my dad was/is a professor in engineering and so engineering was the way to go for me . They never forced me but I ddint have much choice either as I scuked bigtime in drawing ,specially biology diagrams.


10:31 pm, May 26, 2006  
Blogger Turtle Guy said...

nice music reference... i'll get back to you on the rest of this post... lots to digest here.

10:58 am, May 28, 2006  

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