Is there really an 'Adjustment Bureau?'

Yesterday some friends and I met up for a lovely pot luck dinner with International food and while chatting watched the ‘Adjustment Bureau’. I had watched it already some time ago, and a few of us started discussing it’s concept… Whether there really is something called ‘Free Will’ or as in the movie whether we’re all living predetermined paths leading to a destination which has been planned by ‘The Chairman’ as the movie puts it, or God.


In a nut shell the movie revolves around an up and coming Politian running for the US Senate (played by Matt Demon) and a lovely dancer whom he meets by chance and he falls for her, but according to the ‘plan’ they should not be together. The ‘Adjustment Bureau’ is the agency with men who ensure that all people's lives proceed according to the predetermined ‘plan’ which has been set by ‘The Chairman’. So he sends his ‘caseworkers’ to ensure that this relationship does not happen, but in the end, due to the unrelenting pursuit of the couple ‘The Chairman’ changes their predetermined destiny and they are allowed to be together.

The movie raises the question whether God or any other supernatural force has a plan and uses angels to ensure that we live according to it. If so what about free will, are we just some puppets moving through life according to ‘the plan’? Does God plan for some people to murder and rape and hurt others? But if God does not have a plan, is God simply a silent observer watching the world go around and people in their distress? Or is there no such higher power? With our limited intellect and knowledge of the world we cannot know with certainty, but this is my theory based on my own experiences.

I think that’s God exists and he does have a plan for each of us, an optimal plan which would lead us to become the ‘highest form of our self’ not only in terms of personal development, but also spiritually… to follow the example of Jesus Christ. But at the same time He has given us Free Will and choice. So we can wonder off that path that God had in mind. I think he tries to lead us on the correct path through our conscience as well as through signs along the way. In my life, I think my decision to come to Geneva was based on such a sign (which you can read about from my previous post). I think God is like a GPS navigation system in the car after you have input the destination. It will show you which way to turn when you come across a junction, and if you ignore the advice and turn the other way, it will tell you the next possible turn so that you can get to the destination and so on until it is shut off. In the same manner I think God will continue sending signals through people, friends, incidents, to show you the correct path, which you can ignore, and then he’ll send more signs until the day you leave this world, of course people can choose not to heed the signs… Its like the parable of the drowning man who had asked God to help, and when a boat passed by asking the man to get on board, he said ‘I have faith God will rescue me’ then a ship passed by and the same thing happened and finally a helicopter sent down a ladder and he still said ‘God will rescue me’ and drowned in the end. When he asked God why he didn’t rescue him, God said, 'I sent you a boat, a ship and a helicopter and you didn’t get into any of them! '.

If God has a plan the other question that comes to mind is what about all the bad things, the natural disasters, the diseases where they all part of that plan? It seems that many of these things are caused by years and years of human abuse of nature rather than any plan of God… We’re not only individuals we live in this interconnected web, so one person going off the path could impact someone else’s life too, how would that work? I think that even if we get off the path momentarily due to another’s actions, God will show us how to use it for our advantage and get back on our path… In the end I think as long as we focus on being the best people we can be and follow the example of Jesus Christ and the signs God sends us, we will have a great life on earth.

Addicted to Success

At first glance you would think it’s great to be addicted to success, but what I realised recently is that there's two sides to it... the other side of the coin is the fear of failure. Personally I have found that my greatest fear is the fear of failure. This can hamper all aspects of life, from work to personal achievements to even relationships, as we have to take calculated risks if we ever want to get anywhere.
I was doing a part time project at a research organisation while I was on my 4 month break. While working there the Prof I was working with asked me, were you ranked first in class throughout in your school? I was pleasantly surprised and thought, wow he must be really impressed with my work to ask such a question! and replied yes, that I often was. To this he replied ‘Yes I thought so. You seem to have a fear of giving wrong answers.’ This conversation started while we were discussing some background information regarding the project and he had asked me to make some estimates, to which I said that it depended on many factors and that I needed more information before I could estimate. Then he told me, If you want to do research, you will have to get over this fear, as research is based on many assumptions, and hypothesis, and you have to just guess and then see if it is correct.

Then I also realised this fear was also one of the reasons I had a fear of speaking up at meetings and presentations... my fear of asking stupid questions, or giving wrong answers... difficulty I have in speaking French and making mistakes or speaking with a wrong accent, which I posted about earlier http://smileysuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/12/french-snow.html#links... This fear of making mistakes, or the addition to success literally cripples, and keeps me from trying new things.

Here is a really thought provoking article on success through failure from the Harvard Business Review blog http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/12/why_i_hire_people_who_fail.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

So my lesson of the day, you can’t always be right, or be sure of everything, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and just try...

I have not failed, I've just found ten thousand ways that won't work." – Thomas Edison

Learning to take a complement

A weakness that I have noticed in many of us, specifically I have noticed this with most of my Sri Lankan lady friends, is that we dont know how to take a complement. We often find excuses whenever someone says something nice. For example if someone says you’re wearing a nice dress, we say, oh it’s an old thing I got long ago, or when someone says you've done a great job, we say, oh anyone would have done it like that and so on...


Recently I noticed this when I was talking with a close friend of mine and complemented her, and as expected she made an excuse for her success. Then I remembered that I had also been told that I do this often, and it seems to be a common occurrence. Why do we have this need to make excuses for something good about us? Is it cos we don't feel worthy? I do believe that we are who we are due to the power that God gave us and not our power alone and also that we should not be arrogant, but at the same time, we should learn to accept credit gracefully when given, rather than making excuses. Our 'playing small' does not benefit anyone. It will simply undermine our own achievements.

So I told myself that next time someone says something nice I will just smile and say 'Thank you'!

Is altruism real?

This is a question that I was thinking about and I realised that it is an espectially suitable question now, at the beginning of the lental period. Last Wednesday (Ash Wednesday the beginning of the Lental Period) I went for the evening mass after work, and the preist was discussing the three pillars of Lent, Prayer, Fasting, and acts of goodwill. So I told my self I shall try to actually follow these principles, starting during lent, and maybe would have created a habit by the end of the 40 days and continue...

Then I was just thinking about my own motivations behind these actions of goodwill and realised that it does have a selfish root, it makes me feel good about myself. I think it is also because when I see poor people (specially when I was in Sri Lanka) I would feel guilty for having so much and them so little, so then when I try to be charitable with my time or money, It reduces my distress in witnessing their pain. I enjoy working in the Not-for-Profit sector as it gives me self satisfaction, and I feel like I'm working towards a greater good than my self... Doesn't that sound like a contradtion there?

So I started to read up on this dillema of whether there is such a thing as altruism, and came across this story.

"Abraham Lincoln illustrated the philosophical issue in a conversation with another passenger in a horse-drawn coach. After Lincoln argued that selfishness prompts all good deeds, he noticed a sow making a terrible noise. Her piglets had gotten into a pond and were in danger of drowning. Lincoln called the coach to a halt, jumped out, ran back, and lifted the little pigs to safety. Upon his return, his companion remarked, "Now, Abe, where does selfishness come in on this little episode?" "Why, bless your soul, Ed, that was the very essence of selfishness. I should have no peace of mind all day had I gone and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs.”
"Social Psychology" by David Myers, p477

Another interesting quote by Vexen Crabtree on 'Love' considered to be the most giving, unselfish emotion of all

"Love is perhaps the strongest emotion we possess. But love is ultimately selfish; the satisfaction and feel-good that it brings is an ultimate reward. Our instincts and needs underlie any altruistic behaviour, especially when it comes to love. That is part of the beauty of love... that you know your loved one loves you because it makes them feel good. You know that they know your love is selfish, and they are happy that you love them because it makes you feel good. Without this hidden, deeper selfishness, Human love would have less depth. Love is best and most beautiful when it comes from the depths of one person and extends to another, and both know that the other loves them for selfish reasons. We love someone because they make us feel good and they love us because we make them feel good. This combination is a supreme gift to our ego and helps explain why love is easily the most potent emotion."

Being a devout Catholic, these then made me think about religion, what does it mean if all good actually has a selfish root? I believe that God just made us that way so that people would naturally be good, for their own happiness, and for their own survival (though there seems to be bugs in the programming of some people like serial killers!)... After all this thinking and reserach, I still am not much closer to figuring out whether we're all good or all bad, but I will try to continue to be helpful and giving, especially during this lenten period and feel good :)

Logic of Love

I always thought of myself as a person who was ruled by logic, and not by whims and fancies or by moods or emotions... until recently that is, till I found myself in a wonderful relationship... For the last few years I have been alone, no man in my life, and I even convinced myself that it was better that way, no heart breaks, I do things my way and life is so much simpler, even if somewhat lonely...

Then I fell in love, and all logic was thrown out the window and total confusion began! I suddenly found my self to be much less logical, and irrational, crazy and moody and missing him even more after talking to him for half a day (this is a long distance relationship for now, which I think adds to the drama :)) and little jealousies over small things, and overly sensitive to every word he says and smile at the sound of his name, and all the soppy songs made me think of him, and I want to share every tiny detail of my life with him!

I found myself thinking about all these changes in me and so when I came across this metaphor by a psychologist on emotions and logic, it really hit me. He relates logic to a person riding an elephant and that the elephant is our emotions. Initially the person decides on the direction, but unless the elephant and person's ideas are aligned the elephant will win each time as he has a 6 ton advantage! I thought that was a nice way of thinking of our own logical and emotional sides. if elephants are emotions, then love is the largest elephant of all!

Love is the biggest mystery... Why is the hurt and pain so unbearable and the happiness ecstatic, when it is related to the one you love? how is it that two people fall in love and decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and how is it that all the wonderful feelings you get with racing heart beats thinking of the one you love is reciprocated from that person... How do you find that one person in this world of billions of people? That person that makes your heart sing, who;s name makes you smile, and who makes you feel alive?

Some believe that love is due to an irresistible cocktail of chemicals in order to ensure the survival of human kind. That we're merely happy victims of nature’s lovely plan... But I do not believe that is the case, since if love was only to ensure that human kind continued then what's the point of lasting love, after the children are grown and the survival of humans is ensured? Why do we stay with the same partner? What about the love of parents towards their children and the love of children toward their parents. In that case, we would love each other, just long enough so that the children are independent and then go on our separate ways...but we don;t humans create lasting bonds, and still even today when divorce is becoming more and more common, there still are many who live their whole lives together in love... So I believe that love is Mystery... Love is Gods gift to us so that we may experience him through loving each other...

Tech or no tech, that is the question...

Thesedays I've just been wondering if we are too dependant on technology and science. Don't get me wrong, I'm a techy who loves most of the gadgets and new technologies, especially related to communication... where would I be without msn and Skype, and miles away from my friends and family?

I just got thinking recently when there was a power cut in my appartment, and I got into a total panic as everything here works on electricity, from the cooker, to kettle to washing machine to heater to fridge, and ofcourse all entertainment, computer and lights! I was in pitch darkness in the cold and my phone was beaping cos it was low on charge, and i knew if i made a call at that moment it would die! So I finally went over to a friends place, and called the electicity emergency line and got it sorted, but till they came and fixed it I didn;t know what to do... I was so dependant on electricity, and I thought about home and how we used to have power cuts, but the effect was not as bad, as we had gas cookers, kettles, candles and entertainment was actually talking to my family...

So then I started to wonder about how we're becoming more and more dependant on technology and was just thinking if an Alien wanted to take over the earth the easiest way would be to cut the power and we'd all be helpless! (except for the natives in the forests who continue to live close to nature!)... Ofcourse I'm so glad for all these appliences, after all being on my own and working full time, it would have been practically impossible to survive without the microwave, and washing machine, and all the modern appliances, but are we letting them take over? And what do we do with all the extra time that we accumulate thanks to all our appliances?... I'm also finding tech is making us lose the human touch, as most of the time we can do everything from banking to shopping online... Though I myself am a part techy and like gadgets, I think we really need to make sure that we don't become slaves of tech, and also continue to keep those relationships alive with the human touch, it scares me that otherwise we also might turn into robots just going through life...

This is when I know I'm growing old, I'm already starting to write about 'in my day...' stories!

Learning to let go

Just a couple of days ago I attended a presentation skills workshop, where one of the things we were talking about was 'Learn to let go...' In this context the instructor was talking about how we have the tendency of trying to put everything we know into a presentation, and how we should learn to let go, and only include the most important information for maximum impact.

This got me thinking about other aspects of life as well, I think most of us have this tendency to hang on to things, whether it's while doing a presentation, or writing, or keeping old unused appliances in the house (this I noticed last year when we moved home looking at all the useless things that we had accumulated over the years) or things we do in our everyday lives... I think we do this out of fear that what we 'let go' of, might later prove to be critical or due to fear of change...the infomation that we didn't give might be the deal breaker; the old appliance that we threw away may become useful later on; or the daily practice that we didn't do might affect our lives.

I think this is one of the reasons we seem to be in this state of 'constant busyness'. We have all these new technological advances, and household appliances to save time, but somehow we still seem to be as busy as ever. At work we have the latest computers and softwares to make life easier and even when organisations grow, work never seems to become easier or less... maybe due to our habit of always doing everything and not deligating, not prioratising and due to the culture of 'if you work over time you must be working hard and if you leave on time, you're not doing a proper job (even though the person who stays till late might well be doing personal things!)... I think it's also due to this misconception that being busy makes you important, but chatting with friends, or reading, or taking longs walks are a waste of time... What we never seem to ask ourselves is 'what are we so busy with?' It's the famous Parkinsons Rule at play 'Work expands to fill the time available for its completion' So we can either be constantly busy or decide that we complete the work the best we can and get on with other things in life...

I think coming from a rather conformist society where everything usually is done a certain way and not sticking to that would deem that there's something wrong with you, I too had this 'rat race' always busy mentality... but then I've met many people who have successful careers, families and still manage to find time to read or write or travel and see the world.

Ofcourse I'm not saying that everyone who's busy is because they are creating work, we all go through times when we can be overwhelmed with work or life, but oftentimes we also create our own busyness...

Now little by little I'm analysing what I do, and try to reason, why it's important, and learning to let go of things that are not necessary, and finding myself with so much more time to read and go on long walks, and literally stop to smell the roses.

Speak Up!

According to many studies, the one thing that is feared more than death is ‘Public Speaking’! I can say that it was true for me for a very long time, and is something I have been working on getting over for many years now... when I say public speaking I don’t fear prepared presentations or even acting, as long as it has been prepared and practiced… What freaks me out, is having to talk impromptu. Doesn't have to be at a large gathering, but even asking questions or giving my opinion in front of a group of strangers can be scarry... Scared that people will think that my question is stupid, scared that what I say was too obvious, scared of being laughed at…

While in SL both in school and uni, I didn’t feel this fear much, as people in general don’t ask questions or comment in lectures much. But it struck me hard in Cambridge, when everyone else was speaking over the others and I was too scared to say a word. You may remember one of my earlier posts ‘finding my voice’ one of the first steps towards getting over this fear.

I'm happy to say that I have come a long way since then...still speaking up in public is not second nature to me, but by forcing myself to speak at meetings, to speak up at gatherings when I have an opinion and by volunteering at improv, it has become easier.

Another thing I've noticed when I observe people at meetings and presentations is that often even the leaders the outspoken people still seem to have a fear of public speaking. Recently I was sitting very close to some of the main speakers at a meeting and I noticed, slight hand tremors (barely visible) when one of them was speaking, and I've observed similar instances with other speakers too…so maybe many self confidant people too have some apprehension and nervousness when speaking in public, not just me…so I've learnt the key is to speak in spite of the fear, not to let the fear paralyze you.

After all, if you were invited to a meeting or gathering, that was because your point counts, so you should not deprive others of that valuable input!

Small things in Life...

Was feeling a bit down partly missing my parents who left last weekend after visiting me here for a couple of months, and also stressed out cos these days I am in the process of moving to a new flat and right now my whole body is aching cos I moved most of my things to the new place last evening after work. I am also cleaning the existing flat to make it spotless... and at work my biggest project is about to be released...

Anyway on the way home after going for a walk just to clear my mind i started humming 'What a wonderful world' to myself as I was looking at the trees of green, and the lovely flowers in bloom cos it's summer, and as usual smiled at this old man walking his cute dog (there are many kindly old people here in Geneva walking all sorts of dogs and who usually smile back and say 'Bonjour!' I guess cos in this culture children grow up and leave their parents very early in life and so the parents just take a dog for company).

This time he smiled back and said "Vous chantez bien!" I was taken aback, and at first didn;t understand what he said (my French is slowly improving, but still it takes a while to understand when someone speaks fast), so I replied "Pardon?" to which he said "Vous avez une belle voix" [you have a beautiful voice!] Oh then i realised he had just heard me humming, I didn;t think anyone could have heard it... It was funny how the unexpected complement from a stranger just made me smile and brightened my day.

That;s when I started to think how the small things in life can make a difference. Sometimes we wait to do big gestures of kindness, and say I'll feed the poor when i am much richer or I'll show appreciation to my parents after I can afford to give them a house or treat my husband or wife when i have enough money to take them on a trip around Europe and so on and so on, but the fact is, it;s the little things that often matter, things that can be done here and now, not when i have more time or money... cos that day 'when I have more time or more money' never really comes cos it's always relative. It's like the sign that says 'free beers tomorrow', and tomorrow never comes! So I decided to try to be nice to people even in small ways... who knows maybe the little act of kindness you show a stranger just might brighten their day!

Is this real the end?

Sri Lanka without war… is that possible? I still can't believe that the war in Sri Lanka agaist the LTTE Terrorists which has been around for as long as I remember is over... I can't imagine Sri Lanka without the fear of bombs. Just before I came to Switzerland there were 2 to 3 bombs going off in the cities in buses and trains and places where the public gather and when i went to work i would not know whether I would come home alive. I guess this too was a major motivator for me to leave the country. It came to a point when another bomb goes off and we just call family and friends to make sure that they are all ok, and get on with life... but at the same time i guess it;s survival instinct too, cos if we were to worry every time a bomb went off we would go crazy.

A few days ago a couple of my Sri Lankan colleagues and I met up for coffee with one of our Indian guys after hearing that the government had gained control over the whole country and defeated the rebels. My Indian colleague was totally against the LTTE Terrorists as they murdered Rajiv Gandhi and according to him, India would be much more ahead in the world, were his life not brought to such an untimely end. I would not call it celebration though, cos it ended up us talking about our war related experiences in SL. One lady who’s brother had been an army officer spoke of how he had died in the war and what their family had gone through, she was also saying that for the first time she felt that her brother did not die in vain…another Doctor working with me at the Global Fund was talking about his experiences as the Army doctor and some really sad stories about soldiers never getting to see their kids and how the 2 years as an army doctor really changed his life, and we were all thinking about the possibility of peace for the first time …we were talking about all those brave men who died saving the country…these are people who love the country more than themselves and i really don;t know what motivates them to die for a country, for people they don;t know, and who don't really care about them most of the time...

I;ve been so away from SL and these experiences for a while I think it’s still sinking in…I see all the people in the IDP camps and I can;t imagine what life must be for them. I was watching news and how these people seemed to be reduced to numbers and statistics... do we ever see them as real people with thoughts and hopes and dreams and feelings? or just numbers? this is also something I wonder about in relation to my work, we talk about how many people on ARV, or on DOTS and so on, but do we ever really try to understand them or relate to them?

Recently I was taken aback when a colleague asked me "so what race are you? from the winning side or the losing side?" That just totally took me aback...but it;s not a war of Sinhala agaist Tamil, it;s a war of Sri Lanka agaist the LTTE terrorists...but that is when I realised that is how many people view the situation. This really got me thinking, the government may have taken control of the rebel held areas but can we say that the war is over really over? If we want ever lasting peace we need to have a change of attitude... this war started long ago due to the discrimination of Tamils and due to the actions of a few extremists... now is the time for all of us to put aside our differences and unite in rebuilding the country. I think we could really develop as a country if we could just learn to live in together in peace and treat each other equally.

Another problem I see in the way of peace between Sinhala and Tamil people is simply that we don;t understnd each other, we don't know each others languages...I'm embarassed to say that I barely know any Tamil, and now, living in Geneva know more French than Tamil. So I thought that I should learn Tamil myself. This was something I started to realise staying in Switzerland, there are 3 different nationalities French, German and Italian all living peacefully and they are all considered equals and most people can atleast speak one other language other than English.

As they say "evil exist when good ppl do nothing" so we can;t afford to turn a blind eye or just say that it;s the fault of our ansesters and there;s nothing we can do, 26 years of hurt and pain does not go overnight... One single person might not be able to change the attitudes of a whole nation, but I believe that each of us can help in bringing about peace, simply by treating each person we meet with respect and equality no matter what the ethinicity is and maybe we'll have touched a few lives and have changed a few attitudes simply by our actions...

Happy Birthday to me (a belated one!)

Yesterday was my Birthday and it’s funny, I really don’t feel my age at all, most of my friends have ‘settled down’ and some even have kids, I sometimes still feel like one! I’ve even skipped on the road a couple of times like a little kid (I’m sure passer-bys would have thought I was crazy), but I really didn’t care!

I actually think that I am getting younger! If not by age and looks at least by heart! I feel much younger than a few years ago… I remember after uni when I was working I used to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and was part of the ‘rat race’, and used to get stressed regularly… since then I think I have learnt not to take things too seriously, now I try to do my best with things I can change, but at the same time I try to accept what I can’t. For example, I used to get stressed if the train gets late or something, now I just start listening to my mp3s and call my appointment to say I’m getting late, cos the train is not going to come any sooner, just cos I got stressed…it’s a lot of little things like that, but it makes a difference when u learn to let go. And I also think that I don’t worry as much as I used to about what others think, I try to do what is right, and not worry too much whether it was the ‘in’ thing to do.

I still do sometimes get a bit stressed over work and things, but have improved a lot… So my prayer for my new year on this planet is…

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

A friend asked me ‘so what have u done in the past 29 years?’ and then I started thinking about it… I guess I would like to think that I have made a positive difference in the lives of a people who I have come into contact with, and hopefully my work; especially in the not for profit sector has had some impact in someone’s life even in an indirect way…I’ve also learnt so many things about life and people…but as we all know, the more we learn, the more we realize how much more there is and how ignorant we are! It’s a life long occupation…

I must also say that I have truly been blessed in the past 29 years, I’ve got more that I ever dreamed of… and I know that my life could be someone else’s dream… I wonder what have I done to deserve all this? I guess the best way of thanking for it, is simply by trying to give back to others in any way I can…

Self Mirror

This is a post which actually is a mix of a couple of older posts and some new ideas, and I wrote this for a journal, and just thought of posting it on my blog as well.

Something I've come to realize across the years (the few I've been on this planet) is that how others respond to you is a reflection of your own self image. This is a concept I like to call the 'Self Mirror'.

The more faith you have in yourself, others can see that confidence, and their belief in you and your capabilities increases. This in turn improves your own self esteem and has a cyclic effect helping to improve your capabilities. Of course the 'Self Mirror' works in the negative way as well. People can usually see through the mask, when you pretend to be someone else. Often when people see that you have an inferiority complex they treat you as inferior too.

When I say having confidence and faith in your self I don't mean acting Superior. I think acting Superior is simply another way that people handle their inferiority complexes. It's that deep-seated feeling of inferiority which makes people want to 'bring others down to their level'. In order to hide their own lack of self esteem they pick on someone they see is already feeling inferior, and augment those feelings of insecurity. By making someone else feel smaller, they try to boost their own self image. Which is why snobs are only snobs around people whom they see have an inferiority complex. In a way it is only with your own consent that a snob can be that way. This is something I realized as someone who had a strong inferiority complex growing up.

Looking back, I can see how others treated me has changed across the years from the time I was a painfully shy teenager to today where I can honestly say I'm happy with myself. I remember being 'invisible' growing up, and it was only after I started to accept myself that others started to have confidence in me as well. So now when people say I'm different, I say I'm Unique. People say this often cos I don't fall in to any of the typical stereotyped categories. My background is in Engineering but now I’m working in a Not-for-Profit Organization fighting agaist AIDS, TB and Malaria. I also love working with people and find human psychology very intriguing. At the same time I'm someone who loves performance theatre, and singing and dancing as well as adventurous experiences. When I'm with the 'techys' I'm a total extrovert where as compared to my out going drama friends, I'm the total introvert. As someone who experienced the whole spectrum from total introvert to extrovert (though the old feelings do come now and then) I know that once you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything.

I also remembered a beautiful saying by Nelson Mandela (originally from Marianne Williamson A Return to Love) and thought of finishing this post with these beautiful lines

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

The Definition of Success Continued...

As I was reading the Definition of Success, a couple of lines reminded me of a poem I wrote many years ago and had forgotten about. I dug it out yesterday and thought of posting it here. So here is my first and last attempt at writing a poem. :0)

We all want to do great things in our life time,
To be rich and famous, to stand against crime,
But even if we’re not heros or great leaders when we leave this world
If we could say,
That one person is happier because of us,
Then our life was not just a passing day.
We made someone’s life better, we put a smile on someone’s face
Even if that person wasn’t someone great
It doesn’t really matter
For in their hearts we’d always have a special place.

The Definition of Success

I just found this definition of Sucess at Luminus' and thought what a beautiful way of defining success! Thanks Luminus :0)

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.

- Dipo Tepede

Self-esteem Mirror

Something I've come to realize across the years (the few I've been on this planet) is that how others respond to you is a reflection of how you feel about your self.

More confident you are in yourself, the confidence others have in you increases, which in turn improves your own self esteem and has a cyclic effect.

This also works in the negative way. Others can sense how you feel about your self no matter how much you try to hide it, especially inferior feelings, and treat you as if you were inferior too. I've also noticed that the snobs are snobs only around people whom they think have an inferiority complex. In a way it is only with your consent that a snob can be that way.
So Let's ignore all snobs & work towards a world without snobs!!! :0)